Perrie's Point Of View

There it was. Zayn had defended her yet again. You think I would be used to it by now. But every time it happened, I was left with an aching feeling in my gut. The more he did this, the deeper he became in Lindsay's game. No matter how much I tried, he seemed to pick her over me. And lots of people usually did.

After he left our room, slamming the door behind him, I let out a silent sigh while running my hands through my hair. None of this was working out. He was obviously stressed about this engagement, about Lindsay, his job, everything. It doesn't seem obvious, but it was to me. 

Recalling back to two years ago, I remember the meeting I had with Annie. The worry that drenched her voice. 

"Please, just help him be the old Zayn he used to be. I need you to be a distraction."

And that's how this relationship came to be. A bunch of lies, exactly like the first one. My hands dragged down my face and a tear slipped out. I hated doing this time. Telling him I loved him, kissing him. The guilt kept eating me away. I don't know how much longer I can take all of this. The act I had to keep up. Being rude to Lindsay, when really I adored her. She was a wonderful girl, and it hurt me doing that to her. And to Zayn. 

Two years ago, when Annie brought me in her office to talk, I already knew it had to do something with Zayn. And it would have to be with a realtionship. But when she told me what a wreck he had been in since Lindsay's departure, it left me shaking. Getting drunk, nightmares, yelling, personality changes, no more appearances for fans. It was awful. There was no way I could really refuse.

At the beginning, Zayn didn't believe me when I said I liked him. He knew our relationship was set up yet again, but I had to make him believe what I said. He was still hung up over his previous girlfriend, it hurt me to see him in such a fragile state. 

When I said those three words, I didn't expect him to flinch at me. He knew that the only real love he would feel would be with Lindsay. She was the only girl who said it to him, and meant it. And now, she was gone and he was left to me to take care of. 

After a few months, he begun responding back to me with the same words. And for a second, I actually believed him. Love has always been a touchy subject for me. I don't believe you can ever find your Prince Charming, or your princess. Maybe it was because I haven't found mine yet. Zayn had, but she was long gone and out of his grasp.

At the fashion show, I tried getting Zayn back. I tried so hard, because it was what I was supposed to do. Annie had set me up, telling me to try and get him back. To test if he had real feelings for her. It turned out he did, and that's where the guilt began eating me alive.

Phil, Lindsay's old manager, was always in constant contact with Annie. Their plan was devious, and every single day I wanted to tell Zayn what they were up to. To tell him it was their fault that they couldn't be together. Not only was my relationship a lie, but so was Lindsay's.

Once I told Annie his feelings, and Phil had soon figured out Lindsay's, Mrs. Sellars was introduced. The only reason she was invited to New York wasn't for her fashion skills, it was to separate the two. And it sadly worked. Lindsay is talented, and that was one of the reasons Mrs. Sellars agreed to let her join her fashion business. But other than that, it was to make the two of them heart broken and guarded. 

Brian was flown to America to talk to her, and win her back. And that also worked. We wanted Lindsay to forget her feelings for Zayn altogether. It wasn't easy, since I was informed of Brian's past with Lindsay. How could someone ever do something so cruel?

My whole life has been a lie, and this engagement was getting even worse. What was so bad about Lindsay and Zayn being together? No one wanted them to be in love. Is that so wrong?

The only other person who knew about all of this was Liam. Even he agreed that this was the best thing for his friend. It still confuses me how he could agree to all of this. It's awful.

Getting off the bed, I ran out of the room and towards the elevator. I had no clue what I was going to do. I just wanted to find Zayn and tell him all of this. I was bound to crack at some time, and it seemed the time had finally come. 

The two doors opened and I rushed inside, pressing the lobby button a few times before it started moving again. My teeth chewed at my finger nails and my foot tapped on the floor impatiently. I can't back out of this. But Zayn was going to kill me after this. 

He told me he was headed to the gym, so that's where my feet carried me. Liam was busy with some other guy, and I looked frantically around for Zayn. But he was no where in sight. I was wondering where else he could be. At the pool? A run outside? 

Lindsay appeared a few seconds later, looking at me with wide eyes but it wasn't for long before she left the room. I jogged over to the door she just exited out of. My palms were sweaty, and I knew Zayn was in here. What else would Lindsay be in there for?

But before I coud open the door, I looked inside carefully to see what I had thought I would. Through the glass peep hole, Zayn stood there looking comfortable in the space he was given. He was happy where he was. My hand grasped the door knob. 

Would I be intruding on his alone time if I entered and confessed to him? Yes. But doing what I wanted to do, wouldn't that be the right thing to do? Yes. 

His body turned around and he began tugging of his boxing gloves. He screwed off a cap to a water bottle and chugged down half of it. That's when I noticed it.

The sparkle in his eyes, the happy smile plastered on his face. The way he tugged at his hair, gave me only one thing to think. One thing that was true. 

Backing away from the door, I realized I couldn't take that away from him. Not now, and maybe not ever. Water threatened to leak from my eyes as my hand covered my mouth from releasing a choked sob.

As I was backing away, I bumped into Liam who gave me a worried look. "Perrie, what's wrong?"

I kept shaking my head, the tears running down my cheeks. "This is all so wrong, Liam. I hate doing this to him." His eyes told me he knew what I was speaking about. His lips began to form my name again, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I ran. I ran out of the room, out of the hotel, and into the parking lot. I sat in the grass, pulling chunks of dirt out of the ground. 

Zayn was in love with Lindsay.


Well.... here's the chapter. I bet you weren't really expecting all of this in one chapter. So yes, Lindsay was invited to New York only to separate Zayn and her. And Brian came along to get Zayn's image out of her head.. It's a lot to take in. 

And Zayn is falling in love with her.

I hope you like this, and  hope you realize that Perrie isn't actually who you think she is. She isn't the bad guy in this story.

I want to tell you guys who is the bad guy in this, but it would be a huge spoiler so Ima keep it to myself!

Please VOTE and COMMENT!!! It would mean a lot :)

-Taylor xx

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