His Anchor

CHAPTER 1

I groaned softly at sensation on my fingers, I slowly opened my eyes then sighed softly as our eyes met. With a louder groan I sat up in bed and exhaled heavily.

"Why are you doing this to me? My alarm hasn't even-" the annoying sound of my alarm clock rang out and I sighed once more.

"Alright, you win bud," I got off the bed and rubbed his favorite spot behind his ears, "you win as always."

I could hear the soft sound of his paws on the floor as he followed me to the bathroom, "can a man have his privacy?" he wagged his tail as he looked up at me, "I won't do anything stupid, I just need to take a shower and get ready for work," I crossed my fingers and smiled at him, "scout's honour."

He somewhat gave a head nod then paddled out of the bathroom, as I stripped myself of my sleep wear I let out another sigh, "I really need more friends."

My morning routine quickly manifested into the repetitive work flow that I've grown accustomed to over the years, I removed the pair of Ray Bans from my face as I stepped onto the fourteenth floor, the bustling employees all greeted me as I made my way to the office.

"You're late," I raised my eyebrows at him as I placed my laptop case on the desk and sat down.

"Why are you even here? This is not your office, yet here you sit."

I took my jacket off and loosened my tie as I sat down, "why do you always do that?" I rolled my eyes at him, "you want to lose those eyes?"

I sighed again, "you've been saying that all these years, you know you don't scare us right? Sam on the other hand..."

I ignored his glare as I opened my emails, "anyway, as you may know the deal with Samsung went through," I absentmindedly nod my head at him, "they're also sending over one of their top guy to collab with us," I nod my head again, "I also got a tattoo on my rear."

"Uh huh," I looked at him and he shrugged at me.

"You would know all this if you attend the meetings. What was it this time?" I sighed then looked at him.

"I had prior obligations, I sent my secretary instead. Those meetings are boring anyway, I already know how to do my job, I don't need a briefing."

He raised his hands in defense, "hey, I'm not reprimanding you. Sam and I just feel like we haven't seen you in a while. Your brothers and sisters miss you too Michael."

They're not really my siblings though.

I shook my head at the thought then sighed, "I just have a lot going on. NASA has been riding my áss these days and now I have multiple emails to answer. I'm actually tired, I just want to sleep and play my video games while eating pizza."

He sighed then stood, "fine. I'll leave you to it. I think you should take the day off, Samsung's guy gets in from South Korea later tonight, you don't need to be here until tomorrow."

South Korea?

I shook my head as my mind began to wander, I cleared my throat awkwardly then closed my laptop and sighed, "thanks but, I'm not one to procrastinate."

I grabbed some papers off my desk then stood, "at least come over for dinner tomorrow," I nod my head then flashed my hand at him as I exited the office.

My hands gripped the steering wheel as I sat in my car, with tired eyes I stared at the familiar building, wondering if I should enter or not. Every evening I find myself in the same spot, thinking about the same thing, and at the end of the day I always lose. With another heavy sigh, I exited my car and climbed the steps, as I entered the familiar room, I was greeted with a warm smile.

"Ah Michael, we all placed a bet to see how long you would sit out there," I ignored their jeering then took my seat in the circle.

"Since you're the last to enter, how about you start this week's meeting? Go ahead and introduce yourself."

I refrained from rolling my eyes, "hello everyone, my name's Michael," they all returned the greeting, "unbeknownst to my family, I tried to commit suicide, this was three years ago, apparently I've been living with depression all my life, and I've been participating in this group for two years now."

The introductions continued, I looked around at the group, feeling sorry for not only myself but also those in this room. We're all damaged in a variety of ways, from alcoholism, to gambling, depression, OCD; you name it, this group of misfits have it.

"How about you Michael? Anything you regret?" I rubbed my thumbs together as I sighed.

"Do I have to answer?" he nod his head at me, "who doesn't have regrets these days? For one, I regret getting in my car and driving here," I shrugged nonchalantly as the others chuckled lightly.

"Last week you said something about how your dark thoughts take you back to that vulnerable time in your life. What have you been thinking about since last week?"

I hate when he singles me out, "stocks mostly," the group chuckled once again, "but today, I thought about how my siblings aren't really my siblings," he nod his head at me.

"So you still have thoughts of not belonging?" I nod my head at his question, "why though? If they didn't want you, then they wouldn't have adopted you. Ever thought about that?" he looked around the circle, "remember guys, I want you to focus on not worrying about the little things, which for most of you is a challenge, and I understand that completely. So your homework for this week is to make a list of all your worries, no make it your top ten worries. I want you to leave those worries on that piece of paper, you'll only think about them when we meet again next week."

The circle broke up as the members dispersed for the fifteen minute break, I sat in the uncomfortable chair as I watched my fellow damaged peers gather round the refreshment table, "aren't you hungry? I thought pizza was your one true love," I shrugged my shoulders at him. 

"It is, I'm actually not satisfied with one slice of pizza so I'll opt out," he shook his head at me then sighed. 

"How's it going with your dog? Are you feeding him? Taking him for walks?" I leaned back in the chair as I crossed my arms. 

"I've had him for a year and he's still alive, I think we're doing just fine," I twiddled my thumbs a bit, "this morning, Leo mentioned her country to me, for a moment my heart raced a my mind briefly flashed back to that time in university. Earlier I wanted to say how much I regret what I did to her." 

He placed his hand on my shoulder, "then why didn't you?" I shrugged once more. 

"I'm just not ready to share that part of my life with anyone," he sighed. 

"You know how I feel about your mental health Michael, I still think you should have a sit down with Sam and Leo, they deserve to know what's going on with you." 

I shook my head at him, "not yet. I'll tell them soon," he sighed again. 

"When? you need all the support you can get and you're a part of a big family, they'll have your back," I nod my head. 

"And what about you Uncle Nathan? Do you have my back?" 

I could see the sincerity in his eyes as he nod his head at my question, "always." 

"Then that's good enough for me." 

Once again I found myself alone in my apartment, well not entirely alone, and it's technically not an apartment, so tonight, and like every other night; the only company I have in my penthouse is my Golden Retriever Bourbon, along with the pile of paperwork I have to look through before the sun rises. With a heavy sigh, I looked down at the sleeping form of Bourbon, then chuckled at his snores, as I ran my fingers through his coat, I began to think about the moments we've spent together and how much he has helped me. 

"You're more than just a therapy dog, you don't that right?" his snores rang out in the room, "of course you do," I looked around my home office then stood up, "I seriously need more friends."