Chapter 28 | Everyone but Me
It was another sleepless night for me, which left me twisting and turning in the sheets. Nights like these were the worst. The room would be pitch black and no sound to be heard, all that would occupy my mind was the pain.
My mind kept replaying me walking away from him for the last time ever. It hurt like hell if you want the truth. Walking away from the boy I loved the most might have been the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Yes, turning my back on him was beyond difficult, but seeing the after effects were even more painful. After I walked out of Starbucks, I tried to put myself back together so I could drive home in a proper manner, but my eyes stayed glued to Ray.
He looked just as broken as I did. His posture remained slouched and his hands covered his face while sitting at the table. It looked like I had drained all the life out of him.
It was for the best though. I didn't want it to end, God knows I didn't, but it could never be the same after that.
How was I supposed to look at him after that without my heart breaking every time?
How was I supposed to walk the halls at schools with him there, knowing we're breathing the same air?
Just the thought of him hurts.
I wanted to scream and shout out every possible emotion I was feeling, but I couldn't do that. So, bottling them up would have to suffice.
A light knock came to my door, followed by it opening a few seconds after.
Shane walked into my room and saw me sitting up, wide awake.
"Good, you're awake too," he commented.
I nodded. "Did you need something?"
He sat down on my bed, next to me. "I do, actually. I have so many things on my mind."
He sighed. "For one, I need your help, asking Mia out."
My eyes widened. "It's about time!" I exclaimed.
He shushed me. "Keep your voice down."
"Well, what were you planning on doing?" I asked, in a hushed whisper.
"Well her favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast, so I was thinking about getting her a rose and putting it in a glass jar and writing a poem or something."
I snickered. "My brother, the captain of the football team, writing a poem? Man, when did you get soft?"
He glared at me. "Shut up, I'm trying to do something nice for once."
"Okay, okay, I'll help you. I'll text her in the morning asking her to come over later today and in the meantime, you can get everything ready."
He nodded his head. "Thank you so much, you're a lifesaver."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
He sighed. "So, how are you holding up?"
Ah, yes, the question that I tried to avoid. People ask this to check up on you, to see how you're doing. They do it out of courtesy, when in reality, everybody justs nods their head and lies, saying that they really are fine.
It's just not the truth.
"I'm fine," I lied.
How many times have I used this lie in my entire life?
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