Your Forgotten

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Dedicated to Prendywillow for reading all this while,  I didn't know but I'm glad you told me, thanks for the votes dear. ❤

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11:59pm,
Tuesday, 6th of June 2017.

✺

To the woman who birthed me,

This morning I felt lonely.

I haven't really felt this way since those first months at the dormitory, I got used to it, got used to being away from you. I got used to being alone in school surrounded by a class of people my age and most of the time I liked it.

There were the days I didn't feel like being alone though, days that I wanted to be surrounded by people too at the cafeteria not scaring everyone off when I took a seat.

There were those days when I thought of the possibility of having friends that I could maybe gist with about the latest shoes or songs. Friends that I could show my wacky poems and doodles. Friends that I could laugh with at the dining room as we ate.

But I didn't have any, so whenever I had these feeling, I'd do what I'm good at; looking for trouble.

I'd look for who I would follow around and pick on all day, but they'd always runaway. They never understood.

Why does no one ever understand?

I'm home now and normally during holidays you'd ship me off to your sister's house but due to my expulsion, I'm stuck here.

I didn't know that one day I'd miss that wretched prison school.

I reached under my pillow and took out a cigarette and just as I was about to light it, Maggie called.

After grudgingly picking the call, she asked if I could come out to the alley.

I met her sitting on that worn, shaky wooden bench like last time and I sat beside her, and this time I was kinda glad to see her.

"Are you okay? You don't look too good." she said, her eyes roving over my face.

I stuffed my hands in my front pocket and gave a tiny smile for assurance. "I'm good. You?"

She rubbed her hands on her face and sighed. "I don't know. I'm thinking of telling my mum about my choice of course."

Why was it so easy for her to say what was on her mind? I wondered but just nodded instead.

"But I just can't. I told you Izzy's been acting out lately and I'm supposed to be the level headed obedient sister that mum can compare her to, so how do I tell her and ruin her dreams too?" she said, looking at me like she expected an answer.

I shrugged. "I don't know, just go straight out and tell her, show her your reasons. She knows you have a good voice, everyone's proud of you for being the assistant choir leader. Just tell her, you won't know her reaction till you do."

I wish I could do the same with my own mother. I thought.

"I've always admired you, you know?" she said with a small smile.

I was shocked by her compliment and didn't believe it one bit. Was she trying to be nice to me because I was there for her? "why?"

"I don't know. You never care what others think about you, you're never trying to please people. You're just you, and I think it's refreshing."

I couldn't hold the tiny smile that crept up my face and the warm feeling in my chest.

We talked and made corny jokes about her mum before we finally went our separate ways.

I walked to our gate with the tiny smile still on my face.

I always thought of friendship as a huge commitment where you have to be there for someone all the time even when you don't feel like it.

You have to act nice and be there for them even when you want to be alone. You have to listen to your friend fuss over little problems like its the end of the world.

Listening to Maggie talk about her problems didn't feel entirely bad, in fact, meeting her in the alley is something I look forward to.

Maybe having a friend and being there for someone isn't such a bad thing after all.

Your Forgotten,
Mola.