Truth On Hold

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I'm done. This is one of the greatest days ever. The person that I love will leave in a day, the person I'm in a relationship doesn't know that I love somebody else, my bestfriends doesn't have an idea of what has happened and I'm just so done. I thought that this would be easy but it's lot harder than you think. Having to hold on to the truth is so, so hard. My body doesn't just want to take it all in yet. Dan had been calling me so many times and also texted more than a thousand times. I hadn't really replied since the day I kissed Tyler, which was yesterday. I felt empty, I feel empty. It all came so fast to me, I don't know how to take it in exactly. It feels like whatever I choose, whoever I choose, somebody will end up getting hurt. My thoughts go like this; Dan: Sweet, kind, I LIKE HIM, BOYFRIEND, amazing kisser, tall, handsome, great eyes.. and then there's Ty.. he's so hard to describe because once I start, I end up with all the little details about him which amazes me. I am in love with him and that, I know for sure. But, Dan is my boyfriend and he's such a charm and if I break up with him, he'll end up hurting and if I tell Ty off, he will end up hurting. If I tell both off, they both end up hurting. It's so complicated but deep down inside, I have already choosen somebody. Tyler Roberts. My brain just doesn't wants to take it in. Neither does my body, but my heart.. my heart is sure, it has made up its mind. What am I even doing here at home? It's Sunday afternoon, I should be out with my friends, instead I'm sitting beside my freaking window seat and thinking about these two amazing guys that has my heart in their hands. As I keep on thinking, a knock comes on my door.

"Come in!" I yell through the room.

My doorknob opens by the person behind the door and soon I face my beautiful mom. I seriously love her so much, she's the greatest woman to be raised by.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" She asks gently, coming towards me.

I nod as if I'm fine but she being my amazing mom, she knows me well.

"What's up, hun? I haven't seen you downstairs this whole day and I haven't seen you being with Daisy either. Spit out what has happened." She commands and drags my hand gently to my kingsized bed.

I follow her as we sit down on the bed, both facing each other.

''Mom, I don't know what to do!'' I cry out.

She waits for me to continue with a sad face expression on her face.

''I'm in a relationship with Dan and I like him a lot but then again, I'm in love with Ty, my bestfriend..'' I say with tears streaming down.

She decides to hug me tightly and after a moment, she let's go of me.

''Honey, I think you know who's the lucky one, deep down inside. It's obvious if you ask me.'' She puts her hands in surrender.

''But mom, I can't just break up with Dan!'' I hide my face in the pillow.

''If you love somebody else that isn't named Dan, then you need to break up with Dan before it's too late, before he falls in love with you. Darling, it's better to tell him now than later, when it's too late and you feel like you're breaking his heart even more.'' She massages my back with her hands, softly. I gotta admit, I needed that little massage!

''Tyler and I kissed but now he's going to some football camp so I don't know what to do! Maybe I should just forget about him mom..'' I say and get up on my bum.

She gives me a shocking face but then she lit up with a huge smile!

''You two kissed?!'' She says, still smiling in a shock.

Mom had always teased Ty and I when we were younger that we liked each other and blablabla and now... who would've thought she was right? I mean, not me. Not directly.. I thought after hating the quarterback, I would never even say a word to him like 'hey dude, lets be friends' or even worse, 'hey dude, I love you.' But I had done both. I was friends with him, I said I love him and we had also kissed.

''We did mom and it was amazing. He's such a great kisser, it was like impossible for me to let go of the taste of his lips.'' I say, getting all red like a little random tomato.

She giggles a little with sparkling eyes and takes my hands in hers.

''I know I raised a beautiful daughter and I know that if I have raised her right, she will know which way to go and whom to choose. She will follow her heart and she won't let anybody stop her, not even her worst enemies. So choose the right thing to do cause I know you have it in you!'' She smiles.

I love my mom so much, even though I have said that a hundreds of times before, it will never be enough. She literally makes my days and she's so caring and loving. The way she raised me, she should get an Oscar for that! I would never be able to let her down, not once cause I know that I won't be capable enough to do that. Yes, of course we've had our ups and downs and I believe every teenage daughter and mom have their conflicts and their little conversation fights but letting my mom down, that would never happen and if I ever do, I know she will be able to forgive me cause that's how strong our relationship is. We just love each other, endlessly!

''If the woman that raised me has ever taught me something is that to never fear my enemies, cause they're the ones that makes me stronger and braver.'' I say and embrace her.

We both laugh a little and hug each other for a long lasting moment. She then kisses my cheek and gets up from the bed.

''Do what you have to do, dear Lu.'' She says with a smile.

''Thank you.'' I mouth to her and with that, she leaves the room and closes the door behind her.

Well, I seem more sure now. It felt good letting everything out and getting my mom's encouraging words. I've decided to finally text Dan back. I want him to come over tomorrow morning so I can talk to him, tell him about everything. I could just text him and tell him to come over now but I don't really wanna see anyone right now. I need a few more hours to myself. I take my phone up and then decide to text Dan.

Me: Dan, come over tomorrow at 11:30 am. We need to talk.

I knew that tomorrow at 12 pm, Ty was leaving so I wanted to talk to Dan before that so I could later go and reveal my feelings for Ty. I know I had already done that but I feel like maybe tomorrow can also be the day where I can tell him that I can be his girlfriend, that I have chosen him. I knew what I was going to do and all I have to do is to wait until tomorrow. Butterflies are flying in my belly but screw them, we have more important things to think about.

Dan: Thank God, you're okay. I'll come over first thing in the morning! x

I read the text and then threw my phone on the bed, letting a deep breath out. Tomorrow it was happening. I'm praying to God that it will turn out fine!

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Sorry for so late update, but hope you enjoyed this one!

Next update will be the last one *cries* but The Stripper will be out after that so keep your eyes wide open! :)

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Love,

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