Ride the Waves | Chris Brown

26. Truth

Chapter 26: Truth

Four weeks later

Christopher Brown

"I'm so excited, I can't believe we graduate in a few weeks. I'm finally going to be free from this hell!" Nina exclaims as we walk along the semi empty hallway towards lunch. I try my best to act as though I'm a listening to her, giving her dutiful nods in all the right places but the thing is, my mind is so far gone and it can't seem to focus on one thing at a time.

I feel a soft hand draw me back and that's when I realise Nina had stopped walking, her small hand firmly gripping the small of my wrist and her soft hazel eyes squinted in utter confusion. I sigh and bite my lower lip knowing exactly what was to come next.

"What?" I exhale looking down at her.

"Were you even listening to a word I just said?"

"Of course" I lick my lips quickly. "What colleges have you applied to so far?" I continue walking and when it occurs to me that Nina isn't following behind me, I raise my head up in annoyance, turning around to look at her.

"Seriously Chris, why are you acting like this?" She asks, her brows raising and her forehead creasing. She gives me a inquisitive stare and I try my best to hold in my emotions and act like I'm doing just fine.

"I told you already..." I mutter, my eyes straying away from hers because I can't take how much I'm hurting her by ignoring her. I can't help it, I can't have her look at me like I'm the best thing that's ever happened to her when really I'm the worst. I'm lying to her innocent little face everyday, expecting everything to be fine and blow over, but I couldn't be more wrong.

Nina's hand reaches up and brushes my cheek and I swear I melt right there in the middle of the hallway, right there in her embrace.

"You've been saying 'you're just tired' for the last month, Chris. Be real, did I do something wrong?" Her eyes are wide now, searching mine as if she can encode everything that's going through my mind, as if she can read me. I look down, blinking hard as my jaw clinches against her palm. I wasn't willing to look her in her eyes and take that risk.

"No, Nina" I sigh. "You haven't done anything wrong, it's just ..."

Her hand slips from me to clutch the strap on her bag as she takes a deep, shaky breath, her nerves growing the longer I take to respond. "W-why does it sound like you're t-trying to breakup with me?" her voice is barely above a whisper now and I swear I could feel my heart breaking a little more in my chest. Nina is too damn perfect for her own good. And way too perfect for me. I'm tainted with defects and flaws and I ruin anything that comes near me. I can't help it and it's been like that for as long as I can remember.

I see something move in the corner of my eye amongst the quiet, thinning hallways and when I look up, there she is. Staring at me with that venom in her eyes. She has a wicked smirk plastered across her pink lips and I glare at her, grinding my teeth together in my mouth.

"Chris?"

I look back down at Nina and sigh, taking her hand into mine. I didn't care if she was watching me nor did I care about her threat. I couldn't do it.

"I'm not, Nina. I love you but I feel like I'm not good enough for you. We live two completely different lives, you know that yourself. I only feel like I'm dragging you into my chaos. I get you hurt and into trouble, we damn near got arrested because of me!"