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you thought about ways to do as jimin said.
removing the bad stuff from your life that is.

you walked into a closet, a small space that still held all of your memories with namjoon and chanyeol, books that had memories and artifacts from every memorable encounter in your life.

you closed yourself in the small space and started to flip through the dust, smiling as you progress.

from the first date to your engagement and every moment in between.

you could throw out everything that had his face in it—perhaps burn it in a bonfire like you seen in the movies.

but you didn't really like that..it was too destructive. you know you want to remove the bad but that felt more like trying to erase.
you didn't want to erase your past. you just wanted to fix the now.

so you closed the pages of the book and decided to make a house-call.

"hey this is rita, you're probably not home right now but please call me when you get the chance. I want us to talk soon...bye."

already you could breath easier. knowing that soon you'll get to get everything off your chest., in order to let go of him you needed to see him face to face. smiling—you left the closet to go hang out with the guys.

and all was well with your day after that, taehyung was busy trying to climb on seokjin's back and hoseok and jimin seemed to be cheering him on, jungkook stood off to the side; looking like he was critiquing them.

"pin him tae!" hoseok cheers with a laugh.

were they wrestling? you tilted your head and considered intervening only to remember that you didn't care enough to get involved, they seemed to be enjoying themselves so why get in the way?

"it's like watching a mouse trying to pin down a cat."

you had started to recognize yoongi's voice and found your lips twitching at the sound of it."at least they're happy..I doubt he gets to do things like this often."

"hm?"

" hang out with other guys I mean. being a boyfriend isn't really a job you can just clock out from...sometimes people need someone to talk to at night or to comfort them during the holidays..so when do you guys get to just be yourselves?"

there was a pause and yoongi was quiet, eventually his lips turned."you're starting to sound like jimin.."

"you're not going to tell me, are you?"

"nope," his ruffles your hair with a smile.

and you quickly realized the down side of being a customer instead of a worker, the boys have to put up an act with you so you weren't going to get any answers to anything that breaks character.

you pout, trying to think of a different way to phrase you words when the doorbell rings and you turn to answer it.

peaking through the peephole you see that it's namjoon. inhaling you open the door and step out, closing the door behind you; a draft of wind pushing it shut.

the spring air hit you with a slight shock, pollen in the air and taking over your senses. sniffing, you look to your ex.

"you wanted to talk? lets do it inside...I don't want your allergies flaring up."

"no."

namjoon blinked and you shook your head. he doesn't know that the guys have been staying with you. he can't know that you had six men in your house with you—especially when one of them just gave you a message.

"I mean yes I want is to talk, but no to right now. I want us to meet later this week..perhaps over dinner okay?"

"oh..alright..I'll pick the place and you pick the day?"

"yeah."

and no one has to know but you and him.

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