Carved on my soul.

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They were studying in the same classroom, they were comrades but they were also loners always reading their books. Everyone thought of them as 'weirdos' but they were just drawning in their own imagination, in their own world because "My life is way more interesting in my head" both of them would say.

They didn't get to know each other till they joined the same club: the Literature Club. Words fascinated them, when they started writing they would feel like warriors with words as their weapon. 

The only difference is that one of them would write :

" For you it is better to enter a peaceful room 
Leaving behind you the lights of the city's nights
For you it is better to take the way back 
And quietly listen to the whispers of your heart ."

While the other would write :" In my case, such an expression as ‘to be fallen for’ or even ‘to be loved’ is not in the least appropriate; perhaps it describes the situation more accurately to say that I was 'looked after’."

Yeah, while Dazai was a writer, Chuuya was a poet. They ended up knowing and befriending each other. In weekends, they would always meet in the only Library of the neighborhood and talk about everything and anything ... about how Dazai looked up to the famous writer Akutagawa Ryuunosuke and Chuuya who looked up to the famous French poet Rimbeau. They would talk about the Country and Politics but while Dazai was Objective, Chuuya was more of a romanticist. Dazai would always tease the other about his short height and hats while Chuuya always complained from the other's carefreeness and his constant longing for death. 

They were each other's opposite but still were what people would call 'friends'. 

While Dazai liked everything about the smaller one, Chuuya had one thing he really hated in the other. Dazai was too 'fragile' for the ginger's liking, but he had his reasons. He hated getting attached to people with a weak health and immunity because they just made him remember his long lost father who died from an incurable illness and he didn't want to feel that pain ever again. But Dazai was an exception, as much as he tried not to get involved with him, Dazai would always be there with his soft smile to show him the last thing he wrote or discuss about the last book he read.

"Maybe it won't be the same ..." Chuuya thought. He accepted Dazai and their bond went beyond friendship. They loved each other, way too much. Dazai started talking less and less about suiciding while Chuuya gave birth to completly new poems with this completly new feeling that filled his heart : Love .

In one of the summer's nights, they spent their weekend together in the hot springs. They were sitting beside each other peacefully looking out at the garden and at the reflection of the full moon in the water while hearing the sound of silence. Dazai suddenly spoke, it was low but Chuuya still heared as the other said :"I'm having a surgery, Chuuya ..."

Chuuya stared at the other who was looking outside while smiling, not caring at all about anything in the world but just enjoying this peacefull moment they were sharing together ... as if it was their last ... "What kind of surgery ?" He asked after a long moment, he couldn't help but be scared of the answer, and he knew that he wasn't wrong for feeling this way as he heared the other say :"A heart implantation ..."

"Why ?" Chuuya asked as he felt tears tracing their way down his cheeks. That was when he realized that, in fact, he knew nothing about the other. He never knew that Dazai was born with a weak heart, he never knew that Dazai nearly died if it wasn't someone other's heart that saved him, he never knew that even this heart is weak and if he doesn't do the surgery, he will end up dying. That was when he realized why Dazai was longing for death, he didn't want to bother anyone else. If he couldn't live independently from others then him leaving this world was way better.

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