DO NOT PLAY SONG UNTIL I SAY SO!!
I can't believe I was actually Lyric Dolan now. Everything felt like it was finally falling into place.
"Lets go Mrs.Dolan." Grayson smiled as he took my hand and walked out of the alter.
"Okay Mr.Dolan." I answered back.
It's been two days since the wedding. It's Friday meaning... three days... I didn't like to be reminded. Grayson didn't waste his time reminding me anyways. But all these little fantasies I've had. Like having a kid and watch them grow up. I'd never have that. I don't regret saying yes to marrying Grayson, not at all. But sometimes I regret him saying I do. He has his entire life ahead of him. I don't want him to be strapped down once I'm gone. Because even though I'll be gone, he promises to stay loyal.
I want him to find someone. I want him to love him like he loved me. Maybe even more. All of these thoughts were mixing with my brain. It was 4am and I was sitting on the edge of my bed. Grayson was laying next to me, sound asleep. I smiled at that. His peaceful body laid next to mine. I would miss this.
When I got tired I climbed up under the sheets and got comfortable. A set of hands took ahold of my waist and pulled me to their chest. I smiled. I was safe.
Today was the day. The day I had been dreading since I was diagnosed. To be honest I was scared, I wasn't ready to leave my husband. Those words tasted foreign in my mouth. Husband. Wow. Weird.
The day was spent with the boys. They acted like nothing was wrong, we all did. But deep down we knew what was coming. At night, we all sat in the living room, I had two gifts. One for Grayson, one for Ethan.
I handed my gifts to both of them and when they started to unwrap them I stopped them and shook my head.
"Wait until I'm gone." They both nodded. I could see how close they were to tears. When finally, Ethan broke. Everything after was a blur. We were all crying messes.
PLAY SONG NOW
I fell asleep on the floor that night, along with Ethan and Grayson. I wish I could say I woke up in bed. But the thing is. There was no waking up.
It was Monday. The three of us on the floor asleep. Lyric was cuddled up next to me, her body cold. No.
I slowly shook her body. Tears were streaming down my face. This can't be happening. Not to my wife. Not to my best friend. I can't lose her. I love her.
"Lyric!" I screamed. Ethan was awake, and currently sitting in the Corner crying.
"Lyric please don't leave us. We need you." I wish those words would have worked. God had I wished that. But there was nothing to be done. She was gone. The love of my life was gone.
It's been a week since Lyric's death. Ethan and I have completely shut ourselves out, our fans are going insane, but we can't find the will to make them happy. Which made this situation even worse. I felt at blame for everything. God how I missed her.
The funeral wasn't really a funeral, we buried her next to her mom. She told us that's what she wanted, so that's what we did.
No one really came to the funeral, we only invited Rachel, Lyric's internet best friend. She looked in more pain then either than us. We invited her back to the house and she obliged.
Ever since Eth and her met, i've seen a change in both of their moods. It made me happy that They were happy, but I couldn't shake the feeling of Lyric actually being gone.
After a couple of weeks in Sydney, we decided to go back to LA. No, I did not want to leave her there but I had no choice. Rachel decided to come with us, it was a dream of hers to live in Los Angles.
The plane ride was the worst. I had so much time on my hands, and all I could think about was her.
The only love I had left? It stayed in Sydney, where the love of my life was buried.
I let a tear slip as I looked out my window.
"Hello passengers! I am delighted to tell you that we have landed safely in Los Angles! Please take this time now to gather your things and head off the plane, thank you for choosing Southwest Airlines, we hope to see you again soon."
"We're home." Ethan smiled. I faked a smile back to him.
No. We weren't home.
Because home is where lyric was.
And so for that? I would never be home again.