The Fire Marshall

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(the reader will hear only half of the telephone conversation)

"Mr. Scott, thank you for taking the time to speak with me. I know how busy you are."

"Sorry Sir, I'm a little nervous. Yes, Mr. Scott, I'll get right to the point.

"Mr. Scott as you know the fire alarm went off at 10:34pm today, right in the middle of my presentation. You know the one I'm talking about; the one that I stayed up three nights rehearsing what I was going to say, and double checking every detail. The one that I truly believed would give me a solid foot into the back office."

"Yes, you are so right. The timing couldn't have been worse for both of us, Mr. Scott."

"Yes, you as well, let me finish, please. As you know, all fire alarms must be treated as if they are real. We all have been told this and like good little soldiers the entire staff followed each other out the door and down the hall to the exit."

"What as this got to do with you? Well Mr. Scott, as the floor's fire marshal...Yes, I know I'm a control freak. I have to be in charge of every aspect of the day here and at home. Well, you might not know Mr. Scott but as the Fire Marshall I have to ensure that all offices, washrooms, closets are emptied and no one is left on the floor."

"Mr. Scott, please do not interrupt and let me finish, I'm getting to the good part."

"I was going down the back hallway, you know, the one that leads to the office that I want someday, when I heard an ear piercing scream. Well you can imagine how frightened I was. I just froze. I waited, hearing nothing more; I inched my way to the door and pushed it open with my finger."

"And what did I see? Why you, John; standing over Miss Hardcraft's body with a knife in your hands."

"Nothing to say John? Well you can just imagine my surprise!"

"What, yes that's right, dear, I saw everything. I saw you place the knife in the flowerpot and turned to exit through the very door I was hiding behind."

"What? I know John, you didn't see me. I hide in a coat closet and you just ran by me. You were in such a hurry too. Was it your plan to mingle with everyone rushing out the door? Was the fire drilled planned too John? You would have known if it was, correct?"

"After you left I went in and checked on the poor girl, and I must say John, you did an excellent job. She was dead as a cucumber and she was so pretty too. Too bad, so sad...wouldn't you agree."

"No, John. I'm not trying to be a smart ass. I'm just giving you the facts...all the facts and really John, the flowerpot!! You don't have any imagination."

"That's right John, I have the knife with your fingerprints all over it. You could have planned for gloves, but you're in upper management aren't you, and you normally leave the planning details for those underneath you."

"What? How did I get it out of the building with the police searching everyone? Well John it was really very easy. As floor Fire Marshal I was given a hard hat, check list and a flashlight; a rather long flashlight.

Why? They must've worried the power might go out, and the floor might be in darkness, I guess."

"Yes. Yes. You are finally catching on. You're not the brightest penny, in the wishing well are you?"

"What do I want? Well John, I want that promotion that I've been working so hard for, that back office... it will need a new carpet, of course, and a great deal of money.

"Bye John, I'll be talking to you very soon

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