Hobbit and Lord of the Rings oneshots, Book 1

Mulan Syndrome (Kili x Hobbit!Reader)

You sighed contentedly as you sank lower into the bathwater, alone in your room. You were staying in Rivendell for the time being, curtesy of Lord Elrond, and you couldn't thank the Valar enough that he had given you your own room WITH A BATHROOM ALL TO YOURSELF! Bye bye, stink and dirt, it was time to get clean!

You hadn't been able to bathe along the journey yet, seeing as you would have to bathe around the rest of the dwarves. Why wouldn't they give you your private time, you ask? Well, because you were guising as a man!

That's right, you were under the alias of your deceased brother, Bilbo Baggins, and you had all the dwarves fooled. Only Gandalf knew you were a woman, because he had orchestrated the entire scheme. 

As you poured some of the sweet-smelling soap onto a washcloth (you made it a point to ask the elves how to make it so you could have it for yourself at home...once you got home), you began to hum a song quietly to yourself. Letting yourself finally relax completely, knowing the dwarves were all off doing their own things, words tumbled from your lips, fitting with the tune you were humming and completing the song.

>>>play song<<<

"Love me like a winter rose,

Precious and unusual,

Blood-red petals kiss the snow,

Resilient to cold..."

You continued to hum past the next words, and gently rubbed the washcloth across your skin, scrubbing away the dirt and grime. You were sure not to miss an inch of your face, nor the hard-to-reach places behind your ears. Rinsing out your short hair one more time, you continued to sing. 

"Love me like a winter rose,

Precious and unusual,

Blood-red petals kiss the snow,

Resilient to cold."

Before you rose out of the tub, you turned around in the bathwater to grab the towel you had left on the floor, only to see Kili standing in the doorway, staring at you with his eyes wide and a bright red blush on his face.

You screamed and ducked into the water, low enough so that it only came to your chin. "Kili?? What on earth are you doing here?!" you shrieked, not bothering to disguise your voice any longer, as it was obvious Kili now knew your secret.

"I-I was...I was just-just going to tell you...it's time for...for supper." The young dwarf prince couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence, and you sighed, rolling your eyes.

"Don't tell anyone about this, all right?" you pleaded quietly. "I don't need Thorin hating me more than he already does."

Kili nodded dumbly, still not quite knowing how to cope with the sight of the bathing Bathsheba,  and walked slowly out of the room.

>>>a few weeks later<<<

Thorin cast a worried glance toward his youngest nephew; this was the third time this evening Kili had smiled at Bilbo. Not just any smile, these were loving, adoring smiles. He would know the difference, he had seen Vili and Dis exchange them regularly.

Why was Kili attracted to another man? It just didn't make sense.

"Kili, Bilbo. May I speak with you for a moment?" he asked, hoping to reach the bottom of all this.

The pair obliged, and once they were in front of Thorin, he asked Kili, "What is going on between you and Master Baggins? What has happened?"

Kili looked nervously to Bilbo, who raised his eyebrows at the prince, shrugging and nodding a bit. He turned back to his uncle and took a deep breath. "Uncle, I...I love Master Baggins-"

Thorin's face held an expression of absolute shock, but before he could blurt out anything, Kili continued. 

"-only Master Baggins is no man."

Bilbo nodded, grinning and giggling like a...like a girl. "It's true," he...er, she admitted. "I've been under the guise of a man this whole time...so that I would not be thrown out." She scratched the back of her neck nervously. "My real name is (Y/n) Baggins, I have been using the alias of my brother, Bilbo."

Thorin nodded. "Good. I am only glad that you had not fallen in love with a man. That would have been difficult to explain to your mother."

At this, the entire Company erupted into laughter, and Kili kissed (Y/n) joyously, still reeling at the fact that he had found his One.

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For EleanorLearn, I hope you liked it! (even though I tweaked it a bit)

I'm so sorry I haven't posted my day 2 OR day 3 of the drawing challenge...Sundays are always crazy, and Saturday was not kind to me haha! I'll catch up with it by doing 2-4 tomorrow, after I come home from work. (they're making me work 5 hours tomorrow ;-;)