The morning after the End-of-School party, I texted Liam with another apology. He didn't reply.
A week passed before I went to his house. I'd planned on telling him I was gay, but that he didn't need to worry; I wasn't interested in him and I'd just been drunk. His mom answered the door. "He's not home," she said, curiously, probably wondering why I didn't know. "Said he was hanging out with Jeremy."
"Oh. Thanks," I mumbled out.
As I walked down the street back to my house, I realized once again that I'd fucked up so badly. How could I apologize and explain everything if I couldn't even meet with him? I texted Jeremy to find out where they were and stared dumbfounded at the reply.
Jeremy: 'I'm not with Liam tho?'
Was Jeremy lying? Did Liam tell him what had happened? Or had Liam lied to his mom?
Riddled with anxiety, I waited a day and then sent Liam another text: 'Hey, I have something important to tell you. Can we meet?'
Still, no reply. Not to my texts. Not to my calls. Jeremy and Kareem claimed they didn't know what was up either, but he was replying to their texts. When I came knocking on Liam's door again, his mom looked at me sadly. "Alex, just give him some time, okay, honey?"
I looked at her blankly. Time for what? Had he even told her what happened? She patted me on the shoulder, and I figured if she did know, at least she didn't hate me. "Okay, just, uh... tell him I said I'm sorry." She nodded and I turned around as she closed the door, the sound of the latch simultaneous to the sound of another crack forming in my heart.
I waited and I waited. Summer ended and we entered high school. Liam wasn't at the bus stop.
When the lunch bell rang, I texted him, Kareem, and Jeremy to find out about meeting up. Kareem replied with where they were sitting. Nervous about seeing Liam after being ignored all Summer, I took my time in the lunch line before heading to the table.
As I got closer, I noticed Jeremy and Kareem were there, but Liam was nowhere to be seen. "Uh, where's Liam?" I asked, placing down my tray and sliding into the seat.
"He went to the library," Jeremy answered. "Who the fuck goes to the library on the first day of school? And seriously, what is going on with you two? By the way, my girlfriend and her friends are gonna eat lunch with us."
On cue, Jeremy's girlfriend, Danielle, and her girls reached our table. The couple exchanged a kiss that brought memories to mind and tears to my eyes.
I blinked, fighting them back. "I don't feel well. I'm going to the nurse," I told everyone and got up without sparing them a glance.
It was a week of Liam sneakily avoiding me during lunch and him going to and from school by carpooling before I finally put my foot down. Monday morning, I found out where Liam's locker was, and right before lunch, stomped up to him. Seeing me, he flinched.
"We need to talk."
His eyes darted around and I wasn't sure if he was searching for a means to escape or making sure no one saw us.
"Or we could talk right here," I threatened, raising my voice a bit.
His eyes panicked and he closed his locker door then sighed. "Okay."
We entered a deserted classroom, and I closed the door behind us. Liam moved to the side of the room and peeked at the door. He didn't want to be seen. Taking a deep breath, I moved closer to him but kept my distance. I'd already planned my monologue the night before, and began while avoiding his eyes, "You probably already figured it out, but... I... I am gay." My eyes shot up to his as I quickly added, "But what happened the night of the party was a mistake. I don't have those feelings for you..." I could feel myself tensing as I spoke the last sentence. "I... I figured you didn't have a problem with gays, so... Or do you hate me now?" I croaked.
"I don't hate you, Alex," Liam assured without hesitation. There was a moment of silence. "I don't care that you're gay, but..." He took a deep breath. "I already know... you're in love with me."
Eyes like saucers, I gazed at him in disbelief. I wanted to deny it, but the sadness in his hazel eyes prevented me from lying any more. My eyes grew wet.
"We can't be friends anymore," he muttered, then shook his head. "We just can't."
A tear poured down my cheek, and I wiped it away. I hated how easily I cried. "Why did you let me kiss you?" I demanded angrily.
"I was in shock," he exclaimed. "I didn't know you thought that way about me until... then. And I... it... I realized." He ran a hand over his face. "You've liked me since we were kids, haven't you?"
"I don't want to hurt you, Alex. I mean, I care about you more than anything. But I'm straight. I can't return your feelings."
"Would you like me if I was a girl?" I blurted without really thinking, making yet another mistake. "Would you date me?"
Liam looked at me, eyes pained. "Y-yeah..."
My jaw dropped and the tears ceased as anger filled me. "Fuck you, Liam."
"What do you mean fuck me?" he demanded with a glare. "You're the one who fucked everything up by kissing me!" He threw his arm out accusingly.
I roughly wiped my face dry. I knew he was right. But still, he was the one who was refusing to go back. How dare he blame me. "Fuck you, Liam," I spat again. "Don't you ever show your face in front of me again." I stormed out of the room, leaving Liam standing there by himself. What expression he wore, I didn't know. I didn't care.
He had hurt me and I would never forgive him. As much as I knew he couldn't help being straight any more than I could help being gay, I couldn't forgive him for saying that I had to be a girl for him to love me like I loved him.
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When Best Friends Kiss (Complete✔)Teen Fiction
Alex Camejo and Liam Santos have been thick as thieves since they met at age seven. As the years pass, Liam is always there to protect Alex from bullies. Alex is constantly denying that what the bullies say is true---he's not gay no matter how "girl...