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*three years ago*

the doorbell rung and you looked up from your new apartment consisting of a couch and used popsicle sticks  from the many, many dreamsicles you had been practiced living off of.

groaning, you pop another ice lolly in your mouth and push yourself from your spot, your shape faintly embedded in the material.

peaking out of the peephole you see a handsome looking man standing on the other side."wrong address." you huff and turn away, only to hear the doorbell again.

"isn't this the home of miss yoh rita?"

now you were mildly irritated, swinging the door open, your cheeks were red and you were tightly holding onto the end of your tshirt. "don't call me miss, and how do you know my name?"

you scrunch your nose, slowly reaching for the umbrella stand that sat beside the door.

but despite your weariness the man laughed,"my name is namjoon—and I'd like to consider myself your perfect boyfriend."


*two years ago*


"yes you."


"why not?"

you sat up, rubbing your eyes."I don't know..I just don't want you to be disappointed."
It was dark and you could hear the window howling outside.

shifting on the other side of the bed, namjoon turned to face you. giving you that tired smile that let you know he cared even when it was late."you can never be a disappointment rita, I love you and that's that."

he turned over, and while he fell asleep easy, you still sat up. smiling to yourself as you duck under the covers with your phone, turning on the flashlight to shine on a small box in your hand.

opening the box your eyes widened at the ring inside. you still couldn't get over it. you were actually engaged.

*one year ago*

"were you not looking at her?" you fumed.

namjoon was a deer caught in the headlights but a rather chill deer because he only smiled at you. 

"you know I love you too much to even look at another person even slightly as fondly as I look at you."

you sighed and he wrapped his arms around you, brushing you hair. but in your mind, you imagined him still looking at some woman behind your back.

*a couple months ago*

I'm an idiot.

you sat, everyone trying to figure out how to console you. gyuni reached out, trying to let you know that she was there for you. she was clueless to how angry you'd become when you felt her fingers on your arm.

"don't touch me! don't you ever touch me!"

"rita calm down, look at what you're doing—you're hurting your friends." namjoon touched gyuni when you pushed her away, trying to make sure she was alright.

"oh so it's my fault huh? I'm the one hurting people right? not the guy who just dumped me for my best friend in front of all of my coworkers on only the more important day of my life huh?"

"rita lets just sit down and—"

"shut up, I swear namjoon if you say another word and act like you didn't just rip my heart out so help me I will rip your tongue out of your mouth."

I'm such a gotdamn idiot.

*present day*

you woke up crying, 

jimin had since stopped his treatments but was reading to you. the moment he noticed you were awake he stopped and  watched your tears eyes.

"what did you do to me?" you rubbed your eyes, trying to catch your breath, cheeks streaked.

"I just got the tension out of your muscles," he shrugs as he flips through his book.

"now if you're asking why you're crying then thats a little more complex.—in short just like how your body has kinks and sores, it also has emotional sores and tension too, when you relief physical tension you release emotional ties too."

"you're crying because you have a lot of tension you need to release, physically and emotionally."

"I don't like that feeling." you sigh, sitting up, wrapping the towel over yourself."how do I get rid of it?"

"keep getting rid of emotional baggage, I can't tell you how to, its up to you to settle whatever's on your mind..until then you should rest. your body's tired."

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