AN; Enjoy my amazing readers!
Ch.16 The Rush
"...N-No you don't..." I murmed as I felt like I was burning up slowly.
"What?" PJ asked not hearing me as I suddenly flared up standing from my seat as anger took hold of me.
"No you don't! Stop it! Just stop saying that! You don't understand! Everyone says they do, but in reality none of them do! Stop pitying me! Stop trying to make me feel better by lying to my face! You don't understand!" I shouted at him as he just barely noticeably flinched at my tone of voice, but I could see the anger in his eyes.
"Woah, ca-" He tried to say but I interrupted.
"No! I won't calm down! Don't tell me to calm down! Don't say you understand cause you don't, you don't even know anything about me! Besides my name and who I talk with around here you know nothing! I don't understand why your being nicer all of a sudden either!" I yelled as he just looked at me confused, shocked, and angry.
"You can say that you do just like everyone else will, but the truth is you'll never understand! You have no idea what it's like to watch everything you care about being torn away from you! You don't know what it's like to able to do something about it, but still be too dumb and innocent minded to stop it! You don't know what it's like to accidentally let others too close and then just repeat it all over a-again..." I shouted as it slowly turned to a whisper as I realize what I just said.
Some students and a few adults in the office stared at me shocked, I'm surprised the principal didn't come out yet.
I was too afraid to see PJ's reaction, I didn't look at him at all because of that.
I said too much. I let my emotions get the best of me... Oh no...
Everyone staring at me suddenly bothered me, some ask me if I was okay, others asked me if I needed anything. (Get a pic of a swan! Swans are soothing! Do you need a pic of a swan Fresh?)
I ignored them all.
"...Fres-" I didn't wait to hear what he had to say, I ran for it.
I can explain to the principal later, I just need to get out of here. I need to get away from him.
I don't want his pity, I don't want anyone's pity. I just want my regular life back before the Inccident happened.
But I can't get it back, and I never will. I'm stuck like this for reasons I don't even know about, so why am I being effected this much?
Why did I even blow up like that? It was pointless. I just let everything spill out, he knows my weakness, he might use that against me.
Why am I such an idiot, I should have just stopped thinking and calmed down. It's too late now though, so...what do I do?
I looked up as I saw I wasn't even in school no more, crap. I'm going to be in trouble when I go back, I'm literally in town now.
At least Savage and Wild aren't here to scold me for not breaking anything on the way out, yes they would literally encourage me to do that by yelling out prison break.
"Hey, what the hell was that!?" I froze at the irritated voice.
He chased me...He actually chased me.
"Look I don't know if what I asked made you panic or if you already were, but seriously are you okay?" PJ asked once reaching me.
"...I told you to stop pitying me..." I glared at the side walk on the ground.
"I was never pitying you, Nerd." He explained seeming to disaprove of my words, as I balled my hands into fists.
"Yes you are. I don't want your pity. Just stop, why won't you just stop..." I asked closing my eye's tightly to fight back tears as I remembered some things.
"No I'm not. I never pityed you. The reason I won't stop is because I haven't even started to." He explained.
"Thats bull! Day 1 you were bullying me and all of a sudden, we're asigned partners for a year and your suddenly nicer? Then when I have a panic attack you caused you personally calm me down. Is that just your dumb attempt to build me up, and break me back down? Is that your little scheme to completely shatter the little trust I have left cause if so it won't work!" I said turning to look at him as we glared each other down.
"I won't let it work." I said ending the conversation, dead silence surrounded us despite the cars and adults laughing some where.
"...You think I'm being nice just to back stab you?" He asked and suddenly started laughing a little.
"It isn't funny." I said as he continued anyway.
"I know it isn't and yet it is. I'm not being nice to you to stab you in the back or anything like that, I don't even know why I'm being nice to you! Honestly I don't, I don't even know why I came after you like I did just now either!" He said shaking his head.
"..." I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say. This could easily be a trap, a fake reassurance to gain my trust. But then again it could be real.
"...I don't know what's really happening to me right now. And your right, I don't know you. But even if you don't believe me I do understand, you suck at hiding your pain." He said as I was a little surprised.
How long did he know?
"You should lock your phone with a password more. I accidentally saw the picture, but I didn't look at the video." He said handing me my phone and going to walk away.
I was surprised to say the least.
"You left your stuff at school too,and we need to have the project ready this Friday. So I'll see you in a little, Nerd." He said walking off before I could say anything else.
Dang it. I let a rush get the better of me.
AN; Just in case you don't know what I mean a rush is another way of sating outburst and an outburst is basically a burst of sudden emotion. Any way I hope you guys and gals enjoyed this chapter and until next wensday!
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