When someone shows you their true colours. Don't try and paint a different picture.
[AN: there are mentioning about self harm. If trigger point. Please don't read. Or if you read just know it's in here.]
I sighed running my hands through my messy hair. And hid my face in my hands.
"Y/N ! Did you run your hands through your hair again ?!" Jeff my hair stylist / clothing stylist / all time best friend, asked groaning and leaning back slightly in frustration. "I'm sorry Jeff." I sighed looking at him through the mirror ignoring my reflection. "Oh man. Y/N are you - you crying ?" He asked turning me around in my chair. "No. I ran my hands through my hair and got hair spray in my eye- yeah I'm a fucking mess bro !" I sighed as silent tears ran down my face then a sob. "Brother. She's not worth your tears." He said patting my shoulder. "But she is. She's my everything. She always made me feel better, just with her smile. She didn't judge my emotional side. She loved it. I miss her so much. The way her eyes crinkle at the side when she laughs. The way she frowns when she's confused or focuses really hard. Her determined frown. The way she would raise her eyebrow in a scolding way when she knows you aren't telling her everything. Her cute realisation face. Her pouty face. Her cuddles. Everything. I just miss them." I cried as my best friend hugged me. Wait Jeff isn't a hugger. I pulled away and saw Camila.
"Cam." I hugged her sighing. "Don't mind this asshole." Lauren said waving nonchalantly towards herself with a poker face. "Lo. I didn't see you. What are you ladies doing here ?" I asked drying my tears. "We came to wish you luck on your meet and greet. If you'd like. We can hang after. We'll wait here." Camila suggested. "Always. Thanks guys." I smiled and they nodded. "Y/N ! Y/N !" I heard my fans chanting outside. "I think someone's calling you." Lauren joked. "You're hair is messy." Jeff complained. "I think it's on point." Lauren said. "You look hot. With that style." Camila said. "Such a goof." I laughed and went outside to my chanting fans.
"Hey ! Hey ! Hey !" I waved and smiled at the crowds that are split in three sections. They all yelled. "Wow for about only fifty fans. You're all amazingly loud. But it sounds amazing, thanks." I laughed and they yelled again. "So this meet and greet is my M&G. It works my way. I'm gonna sing the most requested song. I'll give three names. The loudest cheered on. I'll perform that- heck nah, I'll perform all three. Then I'll go through the groups. While I'm with the one group, I want the other groups to meet and greet each other. I bet you'll have something in common with more than one person here. And make a new friend. Today !" I said with so much enthusiasm. I didn't think I was hurt at all. I sang them three songs. I jumped. Danced like in the music videos. I felt like I was in a total different world. My music world. My escape world. But not quite there. It was like I was at the door. In the door frame. In the other world. Leaning against the escape door. But still had the reality taunting me. I finished my third song. I rushed of stage after excusing myself. I went to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall staring at my hands. I clenched my jaw as memories haunted me. Taunting me. It's like there was a console in my brain. And someone was pressing reply constantly. All I needed had to hear was a evil laugh and I would know for sure.
I slowly unbuttoned the buttons at my wrist and pulled up my flannel shirts' sleeves. I stared at my wrists. I saw a tear falling and land on a recent wound. I groaned through gritted teeth. Turning quickly to the side and hit the stall leaning my head against it. Fisting my hands from the pain I felt inside. I put my outside palm against the stall next to my head. I inhaled deeply with a long shaky exhale.