Life

Life 10

Life.

He had fingered me and now I was staring at him as he sat in between my legs, I lay there and my heart was beating fast, my hands were getting sweaty, I was scared.

"Can I love you? I keep thinking about it, but I'm asking you." He whispered. I just stared at him, I don't know. I've never been in love before, I know he probably has, but then again you can't tell, but he's been hurt, and when he's hurt that's when he thinks it's okay to kill people, thinking it will make him feel better till someone kills his main ones.

"Tell me Zoe." He whispered. I shrugged.

"I've never been in love." I honestly said.

"Haven't you?" He was amazed, he was removing my top as he spoke.

"Y-yeah." He pulled me up slightly, he got my top off and removed his and chucked it on the floor. He looked on my side of the bed and pressed a button on the CD player and it was just slow jamz. He smiled.

"Do you like it?" He referred to the track, it was really slow, I just nodded and lay back, he smiled, stopped and looked at me straight in the eye.

"So can I love you?"

"I don't want anyone to hurt me, I don't want you to hurt me." He shook his head.

"Never." He looked so serious, I was scared to be open, so I just nodded. He touched my thighs, I took deep breaths, and stared at the ceiling.

"This songs doin it right now." He whispered. It was only K-Ci and Jojo. I nodded.

"Say something." He whispered.

"There's nothing to say Snakesz."

"Don't call me that!" He said sharply. I jumped, I looked at him.

"You always tell me to call you that."

"Not now, not anymore,"

"Okay." He stroked my face, I've never seen a side of him like this before, I was so scared, I was used to his fast life and anger life style, hearing him just telling his hoes to dropped their knickers, none of this, it was weird. He even undressed me. He pulled my bottoms down and stared, I put my hands there, I was shy, he's never seen me naked, it's really odd. He moved my hands and looked, I covered myself up.

"Stop." I whispered smiling, he smiled at me and sat up and pushed his boxers down, revealing everything.

"OH MY LORD!" I blurted and covered my mouth, I sat up and he removed them, he aggressively pulled my arms.

"Shhh." He hugged me.

"I can't do this Sn- Jahmiah." I said, just sitting there, that wouldn't fit in me, I'm only a virgin, I wanted to just wake up from whatever realistic dream this was, and I'd be with a "family" and it would be just a dream, but this was my LIFE! This was happening right at that moment. I was going to loose my virginity to him, I always thought I'd loose it to someone when I was married, stupid dream while you live in these places, not some mad murderer, who's developing feelings for me, what if things don't work out, is he gonna shoot me like I know he does to others?

"Shh." He kissed my neck softly, pushing me back on his bed. I felt cold till he lay his body on mine. It felt like it was a roller-coaster ride, it was gonna make my heart drop to my stomach. He opened my legs wide it hurt so much.

"It hurts." I moved my legs.

"It won't fit otherwise." I frowned, it really hurt my inner thighs. I sighed and opened them wide, he wasn't hard yet, so he started kissing me and touching me, I just lay there shitting myself, I looked down when he adjusted himself, and bit my lip hard, I stared at the ceiling, and tried to listen to nothing but the calming music. He looked at me.