The Wrong Alice (Edited Version)

Note

Hey, guys. Sorry to disappoint you, but this isn't another chapter, or a promise of an update. This is just me, coming to you guys because I need to talk to you, and this is the only way I know how. And before you read what I have to say next and brush it off as another plea, hear me out until the end. It's important to me, and really, it should be important to you because without you, I wouldn't be who I am today. I might not even be here at all.

About one week ago, I made a Patreon account. Not to beg y'all for money, or because I thought my writing was too good to be free anymore, but because this is my dream and I'm trying to make it a reality. The past three years have been the best three years of my life. Sharing my imagination, my mind, the words I leave unspoken in day-to-day life, sharing it with you guys has made me a better person, a better human. I'm doing things today, that I never dream I'd have the courage to do; and it's all because you've shown me that trying, taking that first step, isn't always a bad thing. I have never cared about anything as much as I care about my writing. It has become as familiar to me as food and drink. It is a part of my life that I cannot live without anymore. If I lost my writing... I think I would lose myself. So here I am, asking one last favor.

I know some of you can't donate because of financial issues, or because you're too young and don't have any money of your own, or because you simply don't think my books are worth $1 a month. I understand you. I really do, and I would never want you to think that I would hate you, or be disappointed if you didn't donate. I don't know your situations and it's not my place to judge. But let me just be completely honest with what's been on my mind lately. $1 a month isn't all that bad for books. That's $12 a year, less than what you'd spend on a single book. For those of you who work to earn a living, that's less than two hours of a single paycheck at a minimum wage job. It's not bad. I spend weeks, months, on these books, pouring my heart and soul into them. Yes, because I want to and that's completely my choice, but also because I want to share them with you all. This is my dream, this is what I want to devote to the world. But with every passing day, I come a little bit close to end of the line. If I can get on my feet before that comes, I can keep going. I can keep doing what I love and sharing it with the people who appreciate it. But I need help. Like any great story, there's a struggle. I'm struggling. I'm a lone soldier, fighting a losing battle against an army. To win, I need an army of my own. I need you, and everyone else willing, to help me.

This probably sounds all fake and poetic, but remember who I am. I am a writer. I spend my days behind a computer screen. I'm putting this into the language that I know best. This is the only way I know how to communicate to you. So, please, please think about this seriously. Don't finish this note and tell yourself that someone else will do it because eventually everyone will say that and no one really will. Just take a few minutes. Think about how much of a difference a small donation of $1 a month can really make. It's more than just the money that helps, it's the knowledge that there are people out there rooting for me even when they have no idea who I am. It tells me that I'm loved. It tells me that I'm believed in. If you think about it, this could be a little bit like Peter Pan. Faith, trust, and pixie dust, you know?

Wow... Sorry, that was really cheesy and I'm mildy disappointed in myself. But honestly, I had to lighten the mood before I started crying. Not out of sadness though. I'm not trying to guilt trip you, I swear. Recently, I've just been feeling really down, disappointed I guess. I just feel discouraged at the lack of support for my Patreon. There's over four thousand of you guys out there telling me how much you like my work. Original work. These are all my ideas, give or take a few that I co-authored with a friend. I don't usually write fanfiction, I write my own stories. My imagination, that I put weeks of work into. I just guess I thought I'd see more than two of you actually make an effort to prove that... Wow, again, sorry. That felt like guilt tripping, and it's not. I just needed to get this off my chest. It's been weighing on my mind for a while and I couldn't breathe. It feels good to just say it. Finally.

Well, if you stuck around, thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time time to listen to a little small time author like me. I value every single one of you and I owe my life to you. It sounds like an exaggeration, but it's true. My life is in your hands now.

-Nekoco