Ruthless and Ivory (Twilight Fan Fiction)

Chapter 4: Reason

Chapter 4 - Reason

The weight of lead sits over my chest. I can't feel anything but the weight constricting my lungs. I whimper as the bit of strength I have in me leaves my throat. I want to scream at the murmuring voices to lift the weight off of me but my plea doesn't go any farther. My eyelids are illuminated in a fiery red glowing light. They're too heavy to open.

Someone calls but it's far away and unclear. Again and again, voices echo deep in my mind like endless white noise.

Metal clanks together, sending sharp pain through my teeth. My mouth tastes bitter. The pressure deepens on my chest. Rustling paper and a constant beep fills the voids when the echoing voices fade in and out.

"She's very lucky," announces a voice above all the rest. I tried to yell at it to stop the pressure. A soft cry filters in above the noise and it continues to ripple in echo.

I've been slipping in and out of consciousness. Every time, I hear new voices, new murmurs and I still can't get a hold of my bearings. I can't tell where the voices come from, where they begin or end. I'm on an immobile cloud of agony-and I can't make it dissipate.

"Bella." I tense at the familiar voice. "Bella, can you hear me?"

I will my body to move every limb or every finger, anything that'll lift me off this numbness.

My fingers twitch. I feel warmth envelop them.

"I know you can hear me, hun. You're ok. Relax." It's Angela. She's ok. She's here and she's safe. My body relaxes instantly.

Just knowing makes the pressure bearable. I can't fight the fatigue. I drift into unconsciousness again. With her assurance I can let go for a while. A huge weight of worry lingers and I can't remember why. I inevitably have to face whatever it is I'm too weak for-it feels like danger.

"Open your eyes for me. Please, Bella." Angela holds on to my shoulders as they convulse in sobs. Dreams of chaos and confusion is disturbing me. "Wake up, hun," she pleads.

I open my eyes a slit. I see Angela's eyes through her dark rimmed glasses. "Ange," I whisper. My voice is hoarse.

"You're fine, Bella. No one's going to hurt you." Her tears run down my hands onto the sheets covering me. I'm in a hospital bed. The sterile smell coming from the cold air sends goose bumps over my exposed arms. I shiver. I hate hospitals-I remember everything. Dreams never let me forget.

"I'm so sorry, Ange," I manage to say. I've brought this mess to her and now she's in danger. Still, here she is, standing by my side and I can't tell her to just leave and forget I ever asked for her help. Part of me is too scared to be alone. There's nothing else I can say.

"You didn't do anything." She's shaking her head.

I hug her tighter, my tears soaking through the soft cotton sweater covering her shoulder.

Pain pulses through my torso and I instantly wrap my palm around the covered wound. I pull away with shaky hands and look around me.

"I didn't know you had a knife, Bella. What were you thinking?" Angela asks. "They said you were lucky. It was just shy from puncturing your right lung."

"It's that bad?" I ask ignoring her question.

"You needed surgery." I look up surprised. "It tore your lung a bit. It was pretty deep."

"How long has it been?"

"You've been out since yesterday. They've kept you sedated for the surgery," she answers looking down at my hand and swatting it away. "Don't touch."