CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
DAYS off from work were like gold for kihyun.
so, when he got a phone call from nayoung at four in the afternoon, whilst he was in the middle of binge watching steven universe, he was slightly upset. especially since the best bit was coming up. nevertheless, he answered, surprised by the voice he heard on the other end of the line. it wasn't the girl, the person he was actually expecting; instead, it was changkyun. when the said boy asked if he wanted to come over to his house, kihyun answered yes way too abruptly. he instantly cringed, but the other just let out a giggle. changkyun mentioned it was for a family dinner, not wanting to go through all that alone- nayoung wasn't staying around for it. after the call ended, kihyun rushed to change clothes.
arriving to a dinner while wearing a frog onesie, probably wouldn't make the best impression.
the car ride to changkyun's house mostly consisted of kihyun trying to ease his racing heart. apparently, pep talks didn't work for him that evening, because once he pulled up to the curb, he was certain everyone in the neighborhood could hear his erratic heartbeat.
approaching the door, he was already mentally planning what to say: 'hello, your cute son invited me over'. okay, don't say that.
in the end, kihyun went with the simple 'hi' when the door opened.
anyways—fast forwarding through all the awkwardness, although, being truthful, dinner wasn't as uncomfortable as what kihyun was anticipating. quick note to self: stop assuming the worst. the boy's parents and other relatives were incredibly nice, which shouldn't really surprise him, considering changkyun was practically the embodiment of sweet. conversations never steered near the relationship type of topics, the question 'so... are you dating anyone, sweetie?' never came up. and kihyun was extremely grateful for that. it would've been impossible to prevent his cheeks glowing in red, or the way he'd instinctively gaze at changkyun as if the boy was the love of his life.
not a lie, though.
at the start when he did feel nervous, it wasn't so apparent, but, changkyun seemed to have sensed something wrong because he reached over and gently held onto his hand.
it seemed like changkyun knew all the tactics on how to make kihyun feel okay again.
and to make him feel like his heart would never stop racing at an unhealthy rate, which, was completely fine. although, kihyun feared he could potentially pass out any second, he never wanted changkyun to stop touching him.
presently, the dark haired boy was sitting on changkyun's bed, deciding between three movies to watch, while said boy was in the bathroom. everyone else had left already, understandable, since it was ten o'clock. he was supposed to leave, too, but when changkyun suggested he could stay the night, only if he wanted to, of course, he agreed to the idea. so, now, kihyun read over the titles of each film a few more times. he noticed one was a romantic-comedy. he'd seen it before, knowing there were a lot of unspoken romantic chemistry between the two protagonists. kind of like us, kihyun thought, then, well, at least on one part, that is.
giving up, he chose it. maybe, changkyun would get the sly hint that kihyun had feelings for him- ones that weren't in a 'just really good pals' way.
as the dvd started to load, changkyun walked into the room. kihyun moved over in bed, letting the laptop rest on his thighs. he noticed how the other kept brushing his fingers through his fringe, hand covered the top part of his face.
he caught on quickly. "are you trying to hide your eyes?"
"no," changkyun dragged out the word.
sighing, he placed the laptop aside and sat up on his knees at the edge of the bed. fingertips wrapped around changkyun's wrist, he slowly pulled the hand away.
"i've seen you with no contacts before." he waited for the boy to open his eyes.
"that was different," he said. "it was dark."
"you're so beautiful," kihyun ignored how his face instantly heated up. "you don't need to hide yourself from me."
changkyun shyly nodded his head and let his eyelids flutter open. still, he kept blinking, head lowered to the carpet. kihyun sounded desperate when he whispered please, wanting the other to understand there was no need to be ashamed. however, the single word was enough to make changkyun finally meet his gaze, even if he didn't look directly into kihyun's eyes.
he probably stared at him for too long; not even in a shocked or negative way. it could never be. it was just too easy for kihyun to get lost in how effortlessly ethereal changkyun looked. with his icy-blue eyes, bare face that showcased his faded acne scars that reminded kihyun of constellations, and his cute penguin-patterned pajamas, he was gorgeous. the heavy silence must have had been taken in a bad way for changkyun, because his cheeks tinted in pink, hands instinctively shot back up to his face again. he groaned, mumbling something about how hideous his eyes were. kihyun furrowed his eyebrows and vigorously shook his head.
"no way," kihyun grabbed onto his hands again, guiding the boy onto the mattress next to him.
"it doesn't bother you?"
confused, he asked, "what would bother me?"
"me-" he added some hand gestures aimed towards his eyes, then frowned, "-being blind."
something kihyun had become accustomed to, was when changkyun was upset, angry, frustrated, or all of the above, he liked affection- that was why he laid an arm around changkyun's shoulders and pulled him in closer to his body.
"you're still you," he simply said. "that's all that matters."
changkyun smiled, pink tinge seemingly to darken on his cheeks.
soon, both comforted themselves under the blankets, backs leaning on a bundle of pillows, as the movie began. it was kind of difficult for kihyun to pay attention on what the characters were saying, his mind too occupied with how changkyun's knee was pressed against his; fingers entwined with his. he couldn't exactly remember who initiated the contact first, but he didn't really care, it still felt nice like that either way. the film quickly turned sappy, as expected, which caused kihyun's stomach to do somersaults. he kept turning his head, glancing down at changkyun, in attempt to decipher the boy's thoughts he never spoke.
he was listening to the movie, why would he give kihyun a second thought?
and why couldn't kihyun take his eyes off him?
he opened his mouth. wait, what am i even going to say? i love you? in the middle of the movie?
immediately, kihyun pressed his lips together. no. not now, he silently scolded himself. he wanted—needed it to be perfect, special, something changkyun would remember forever and know; know that kihyun was so in love with him. something that made changkyun think 'wow, someone honestly loves me, even in this strange, messed up world' right before he fell asleep at night.
that was what he deserved.
