I got up from the bed I used to sleep in when I lived with mom. I told her I would stay with her for about two days because she complained about just being alone with jazzy and jaxon. She said she wanted some girl time with a 'big girl.' I wasn't really sure what she meant by that,but I didn't wanna reject her, she'll feel 'left out' I guess because her two oldest children are so constantly busy.
I wore a black adidas shirt (crop top) with high waist shorts,a black beanie and of course adidas. I wore my hair straightened ,long and down with a shade of red lipstick; outlining my eyes in an angel effect.
*knock 0n door*
"honey,can I ask you something?" mom asked
I opened the door seeing moms face
"hey,your going to stay with me for the rest of the day right?" mom asked
"umm yeah,why?" I responded
"well,because I really want spend time with you ..a-at least before you go back off to work tomorrow.. and you know,before you go on tour.Today I want to spend time with you and..."
"mom? and what? Spend time with me and who else mother?? who is and??" I questioned in a bit of anger
"honey,no matter who it is,you said we can spend the day together."
"exactly mother! you said me and you can spend the day together you never mentioned anyone else!, I mean?? how stupid do you think I am ??,are u craz--"
"Mariania Drew Bieber watch your tone and the way you talk to me this instant!" mom scolded.
I stood in silence ,biting my tongue not responding to any.
"okay mom, I said I'll spend the day with you but I never mentioned spending the day with anyone el--"
"Mariania, I don't know what seems to be the problem,you don't even know who is 'and' ...your just making a scene for goodness sakes"
"really mom? I don't know who it is?? So then why did you look so worried when you had to 'talk' with me huh?? Why did you make sure I'll stay with you then? can you explain that?" I questioned.
Mom sighs and walks over to the toilet and sits on the toilet seat cover.
I cross my arms over my shoulders waiting for a response.
"Sweetie, you and Justin need to see each other. Someday,you'll both need each other you just don't like to admit it. You guys have been buddies,best friends, partners in crime and then... then you guys just drifted apart. Me...as you guys' mother ..i-i hate seeing you guys avoid each other. Or at least you avoid him. You guys did everything together. Honey, Justin loves you,your his baby sister."
I rolled my eyes and couldn't believe what mom was saying.
"honey? why are your eyes closed?" mom asked
I replied, "because I can't believe this is really happening. I just don't wanna see this is happening."
mom chuckled. I sighed at the fact that I must respond to what she had said. Tears rushed down my face in sorrow and anger. I was more mad.
"Mom, I can not believe at all that your taking his si--"
"I'm not taking anyo--"
"Mom! Let me finish! its not fair that you cut me off while I had to listen to your speech!"
mom sighed again and nodded for me to continue.
I took a deep breath trying to stop myself to continue crying but I couldn't.
"Justin has left me. I wasn't the one that blocked anyone out of my life,Justin was.Justin left me out of it and that tore me apart. When he started becoming famous I texted him constantly and I just knew;just know he read them ; just ignored them.Each and every day of those moments I was so eager for Justin,my brother to respond to my messages. But no.No respond. I decided then...then why? why even try to keep in touch with him? He's always with girls and his friends and now smoking and going to the club. So why? why should I even bother anymore? I mean, as an older brother,he missed my growth. The main events like maybe my graduation. My prom. My first concert. Or, or what about the events that happened to me when I was in trouble huh? Like when I was being abused.Like when I started going suicidal and went through depression.No. Not even those he was there for me. And don't use the excuse that he didn't know because I was all over the news and I meant all over. Not only the news but when he's in interviews, the interviewers always asks about the problems I went through and all he says is 'that isn't any of my concern'. *silence* How do you think that makes me feel mom?"
She didn't respond but just teared covering up her mouth.
"Exactly. You dont know the pain I went through. Not even words can describe it-not even my own words." I finished lecturing.
Mom and I just stared at each other--moms face blank. I could tell she didn't really know much about the truth.
Tears still streaming down my face ; our faces ,we just stared at eachother.
A little while longer, the doorbell rang and I gasped and ran into my room.