These last two weeks have been exactly the same. I wait for information that never comes, while Coin tries to get me to do what she wants me to do. But I refuse to do anything for her until Peeta's here with me and the baby.
I'm a little over four months pregnant now, and I'm starting to look like it. I don't look like I'm just fat any more. It's definitely obvious that there's a baby in there.
I make the same promise to the baby every day, telling him or her that I will bring Peeta back to us. But every day that passes threatens to crush the faith that I'm building that promise on. For our sake, I refuse to crumble. I won't lose hope. I won't. I can't. Giving up is not an iption.
Mom is worried about me slipping into depression, so she makes Prim stay with me when she's not helping Mom in the hospital. Honestly, I'd rather be alone the majority of the day, but I guess I need the distraction. There's nothing I can personally do anyways.
Someone knocks on the door, and I figures it's Prim, but my heart drops when I open the door.
"Haymitch, have you heard anything?" I ask quickly.
"Is he okay? Where is he at?"
"Katniss, one question at a time," Haymitch tells me.
I take a deep breath to compose myself. "How do you know he's alive?"
"I can't tell you yet."
"Why not?" I ask frustratedly. "Haymtch. Is Peeta okay?"
Listen, Katniss. All that I can tell you for right now it that Peeta is alive," Haymitch tells me.
My heart starts pounding in my chest. "Something's wrong," I say finally. "If Peeta was okay, then you'd tell me."
"Don't start panicking yet," Haymitch says. "I can't give you any more information other than the fact that he is alive."
"But you do know where he's at?" I ask hopefully. "Snow has him, doesnt he?" Haymitch doesn't say anything, but I already have my answer. "We've got to get him back."
"I'll see what I can do, Katniss."
"No, Haymitch," I say as I shake my head. "We. Have to get him back. You have to talk Coin into doing something to save Peeta. You know she won't listen to me until I do what she wants me to, and I can't do that until Peeta is safe." At this point, I have tears falling down my face. "Please, Haymitch. You have to help me."
"I'll do what I can, Katniss. But right now, that's not much."
"I don't care," I tell him. "As long as you get Peeta back to me. And before the baby is born."
Haymitch gives me a look. "So you've got me on a deadline now?"
I give him a weak smile. "Please let me know something as soon as you can." Haymitch nods his head and walks off.
"Katniss, you need to eat something," Mom tells me worriedly.
"I'm fine," I say as I sit down on the bed.
"You look weak."
"That's because I haven't slept in forever," I say.
"Katniss, you have to remember…"
"That I'm pregnant and I have to take care of the baby too. Yeah, I know," I say softly.
"I was actually going to say that there's nothing you can do," she tells me. "And I know that's hard for you to hear, but sitting here grieving isn't going to bring Peeta back."
I have to bite my tongue. I want so bad to smart something off, but I decide against doing so.
"I know," I say as a tear falls down my face. "I just feel so helpless. I should be doing everything I can to get Peeta back, but what can I do? If I make the wrong move, who knows what Snow will do to Peeta?"
"I know you're stuck in a bad situation, Katniss," Mom tells me. "But you need to accept that everything is out of your control for now. You have to…"
"Sit back and hope that Coin stick to her promise and that Peeta will randomly show up here if I wait long enough?" I ask. "Absolutely not. If our roles were reversed, he'd be fighting to make sure that I was brought back safely. Mom, if I don't do anything and something happens to Peeta, I will never shake the guilt."
"Katniss, the situation is a lot different because you're pregnant," Mom says.
"I know that."
"Then quit feeling so guilty. I know that the only thing giving Peta hope right now is the thought of you and the baby. There's nothing you can do about Peeta, but you can take care of you two."
I pause for a moment, letting her words sink in.
"I'd better go back," Mom says. "Prim might need my help." She walks out, and I'm left alone to my thoughts.
After a few minutes, I decide to quit sitting here blaming myself, and go get something done.
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Fighting (Sequel to Fate)Fanfiction
Katniss is now in District 13 and fighting. For Peeta. For their unborn child. For Panem. But can she bring Peeta safely back to her, and ensure justice for everybody?