I'm still numb with shock and it's been 3 days. 3 whole days. I still can't believe she would do that to me, I thought she loved me. And I thought he was my best friend. Not anymore.
I hear a gentle knock at the door. I don't answer but Lauren enters anyway, she has no right to do that, I could be naked for all she knew! I let her though.
"Johnny," she says sympathetically "I've brought up your dinner."
"Go away I'm not hungry!" I snap back at her, even though I am hungry, I just can't bring myself to eat right now.
"Please Johnny, everyone's worried about you, you've barely touched your food for 3 days. I know your going thought a tough time but-"
I cut her off. "A tough time? Are you serious Lauren? The fucking love of my life cheated on me with my best friend," I scream at her "Just get lost!"
She gives me a look that says sorry I was only trying to help, leaves my dinner on the desk by my door and leaves. I walk over to put the pizza in the bin but the smell catches me and I can't help it, I wolf it down.
After I eat I decide I need to shower, 'cause 3 days without showering is bad, even for me. I turn on the water and watch the bathroom steam up before getting in, I don't want to admit it but I cried. I cried about her. How could she do that to me?
Once I'm out and dry I and switch on American Horror Story, but all the bits that normally scare me just leave me staring blankly back at the screen.
I've cried every night since I saw them kissing, and told Nadia we were done, I don't think Mom or Dad know, but Lauren does. She doesn't say anything but we always know when something's up with each other, twin telepathy I guess.
This morning Lauren finally dragged me out the house, I look like crap though with big bags under my eyes. We meet up with the squad Hayden, Robbie, Annabelle, Brynn, Carson, Lauren and I.
Normally Nadia and Mark would be here but... they're not a part of "us" anymore.
I don't really understand why Lauren is even friends with Brynn 'cause she's friends with Kenzie, but I guess Brynn's okay sometimes.
Once we're all together we go to the park and the girls practice their cheerleading as we do some mini football. I grab out my phone and snap a pic of us all and caption it "hangin' with da squad 💯" and post it on snapchat.
Maybe things will get better? Today wasn't so bad, was it? I won't be getting another girl friend for a while though...