The Girl Next Door | Baby Daddy

4.3 | The Rooftop

Ravi had gotten called in by the hospital and had to leave after about an hour, leaving me alone with Emma, who was sound asleep by now. I had tried multiple times to tell him about the tests, but every time I did, I panicked and stayed quiet.

I knew I needed to tell Ravi. He had a right to know, but I was terrified of how he would react. We had been dating for such a short amount of time, even though in that time span, he had already decided he was in love with me. Would he still love me when I told him about the tests?

When I didn't tell Ravi I loved him too, I was expecting him to walk out of the door then and there, but he had stayed, and even apologized for putting the pressure on me to reciprocate so early in the relationship.

Truth be told, I didn't know whether or not I loved Ravi. I didn't even think I had ever been in love. But if I told Ravi I loved him, whether I meant it or not, it would make us real. It would mean we were a couple, a serious couple. Every fiber of my body screamed 'danger!' and as per usual, I panicked and fled.

What was wrong with me? Ravi was no doubt one of the best guys I had ever met, let alone dated, and he had just offered up his heart to me, and I had all but ripped it out and stomped it out. But what was better? Should I have stayed true to what I said, that I wasn't ready to say it back? Or should I have lied and told him I felt the same?

A constant fear clouded my mind whenever I thought too hard about relationships and the people I was involved with. What if my first 'I love you' was a lie?

What if I was in love with Danny rather than Ravi? I had chalked the dream up to pregnancy induced hormones, but the fact that the dream was about Danny, and the fact the dream was so vivid meant that the thought was already there. There was already a part of my mind that had hopelessly devoted itself to this guy that would never love me back, not the same way I felt for him.

He would never feel the same way I did about him because his heart belonged to my beautiful older sister. He had been in love with Riley since before he knew what love was and there was nothing I could do to change that. There was no amount of pre-game stick tape and Cool Blue Gatorade I could bring him that would make him even think about having feelings for me.

I couldn't blame him. Riley was probably the most amazing girl I knew. She was incredibly smart and unbelievably beautiful. She set her mind to do something, and she did it. Law school, her entire transformation. She saw what she want, and she went for it, while I was too stuck in my own head.

I just wish I could've been more like Riley. I wish I could be Riley.

###

"I can't believe Ben!" Riley ranted to Danny. They were seated in their familiar corner of the Bar on B on the padded benches. "I mean, he's just gonna rush into this whole 'him and Cassie' thing?!"

Danny watched her complain skeptically. "Riley, if Ben likes Cassie, and she likes him back, there's not much you can do about it." He explained to her, trying to get her to respond to reason.

"I know. I know, you're right, but I'm just so torn, you know? I'm torn between wanting my sister to be happy, and wanting Ben to myself. Does that make me a terrible person?"

"Of course not, Riley." Danny told her sympathetically.

"I know I'm being selfish, it's just... A few days ago, Ben's dating Courtney, Cassie's dating Ravi. And now, Ben's running after her? I mean, Cassie doesn't even see Ben that way!"

"Are you sure about that?" Danny tested dubiously, raising his eyebrow at Riley.

"I mean, I'm pretty sure. They're best friends and have been for almost twenty years." Riley stated.