*morning of Bea's choosing ceremony*
This is Bea's last day in Abnegation. I'm gonna be alone with the Monster In Grey for another year until it's my turn.
I'm not gonna lie... I'm scared. Normally when I was scared when I was little, Toby would hold me and hum a song.
My favourite was "Jesus, Take the Wheel," by Carrie Underwood. He would hum the cords and I would sing the words.
The Monster In Grey just left. It wasn't as bad this time, just words.
But to me, a seven year old girl who doesn't understand what's going on, it's terrible.
I sit, curled in a ball at the head of my bed, sobbing quietly.
The door opens, and I jump.
"It's just me, little Cas, it's just me," Toby says.
He is only ten years old, though already the strongest and bravest person I know.
He walks to my bedside, and kneels down, his arms spread wide.
"C'mon," he mutters.
I crawl over on my knees and collapsed into his arms.
He strokes my hair gently and hums softly, and I sing along...
"She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati on a snow white Christmas Eve. Going home to see her momma and her daddy with the baby in the backseat. Fifty miles to go, and she was running low, on faith and gasoline. She'd had a long hard year. She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention, she was going way too fast. Before she knew it, she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass. She saw both their lives flash before her eyes and she didn't even have time to cry, she was so scared. She threw her hands up in the air and said, "Jesus, take the wheel, take it from my hands. Save me from this road I'm on, Imma let it go, so give me one more chance, to save me from this road I'm on..."
Even though I stopped singing after the first verse and chorus, he continued to hum the cords until my sobs became small sniffles.
"See? Where words end, music begins. So when you are feeling sad, or scared, hum this song. It will make you feel better,"
That saying has stayed with me over all these years: Where words end, music begins.
I glance at my watch and see it's time for the choosing ceremony. I'm gonna miss Bea.
The bus stinks of exhaust. Caleb stands in the aisle, clutching a pole for support. He gave his seat to a surly Candor man. The Candor man wears a black jacket with black pants over a white shirt; Candor standard uniform, they see the truth as black and white, so that is what they wear
Time lapse: Begin of the ceremony, after Marcus' speech.----------------------------------
The names are being called in reverse alphabetical order; Caleb will choose before me.
"Pedrad, Uriah," Marcus booms, his voice laced with annoyance.
He's been in a 'mood' ever since the last choosing ceremony, when Toby left. That was, singlehandedly, the best decision he had made in the sixteen years hes been alive.
I'll make the same decision; my blood sizzling on the coals.
In my little 'daydream', multiple other people have chosen.
Caleb walks up to the stage with confidence. He looks scared, I wonder why.
He should not be worried, he is the "perfect Abnegation child", unlike me. Everything he does that is selfless, comes natural. I wish it was that way with me.
With a steady hand, he accepts the knife, and swiftly swipes it across his palm, leaving behind a streak of red.
He thrusts his hand over the Erudite bowl, and his blood makes a small splash and turn the water a deeper shade of red.
"Erudite," Marcus announces.
I hear mutters that turn into outraged cries. I can barely think straight. My brother, my selfless brother, a faction transfer? My brother, born for Abnegation, Erudite?
"Quiet, please," Marcus says, but nobody hears him, "Excuse me! Quiet!"
The audience gets about as quiet as it will, the Amity and Dauntless still talk quietly, and the Erudite wear smug grins while the Abnegation exchange tense whispers.
I glance over at the Dauntless for the first time today, and see him: leaning against a wall, shooting glares at Marcus.
I stand and shift my gaze back to the Dauntless, toby looked away from his father and fixed his gaze on me. He smiles.
I walk with steady feet to the bowls and accept the knife without hesitation.
I pull the blade of silver over my palm, leaving a trail of a scarlet red substance behind. I let my blood pool in my hand as I look between the Abnegation and Dauntless bowls.
My blood running on the stones; my blood sizzling on the coals.
Inhaling sharply, I thrust my hand over the lit coals.
A satisfying sizzle fills my ears.
I am selfish. I am brave.
I would like to S/O @izzyjean13 Thank you for all of your votes and comments! Anyways, Remember: READ, VOTE, and COMMENT! Bye, Pansycakes!
When words end, music begins.
-Love, Emily Be brave
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