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Normani: *Smirking* You know once our new mattress gets here, we'll have to break it in...

Camila: Oh! I love using my mattress as a trampoline!!

Normani:

Camila:

Camila: Oh you were talking about the sex, weren't you?

-

Jesy: Your honor, Perrie pleads guilty and I also would like to request the death penalty for her.

Judge: ???It's just a parking ticket?????

-

Lauren: *Flings underwear at Ally* You left these at my place.

Ally: We are in puBLIC.

-

Jade: *Just stands there*

Perrie: *Faints in gay*

Jade: ????

-

[The first time they met]

Dinah: Hi I'm Dinah, and you are?

Camila: *Breathlessly* Your soulmate.

-

Jade: I can't do this anymore, the stress isn't good for the baby.

Jesy: whAT BABY????

Jade: Me.

-

Lauren: Will you marry me?

Camila: *Glances nervously at Dinah*

Dinah, Carmen captain: Girl if you don't say yes I will shove that ring down your throat, I promise you.

-

Leigh: Just letting you all know that I love fucking Jesy.

Jade: Don't you mean "I fucking love Jesy"?

Leigh: That too.

-

Camila: *Picks up phone* Hey daddy!

Normani: *Pokes her head in the room* Yes baby girl?

Camila: ...

Normani: ...

Normani: Oh! Phone! Actual dad. Got it!

-

Perrie: Would it be okay if I rode your face tonight??

Jade: WhAT?!

Perrie: I said, would it be okay if I stayed at your place tonight. Damn autocorrect.

Jade: Perrie this is a verbal conversation...

-

Ally: This is a disaster! The printer messed up the invitations! It's supposed to say "Lauren's Birthday"!

Normani: Well what does it say?

Ally: "Lauren's bi"

Ally: ...

Ally: Wait that could still work.

-

Lauren: Ally's out of town, so I'm in charge.

Lauren: But don't worry, I'm not gonna be a lame mom, I'll be a cool mom.

Camila: You're not even our mom.

Lauren: Go to your room now!

Dinah: I'd put you more in the daddy category. *Winks*

Lauren: Come to my room now!

-

Jesy: What a beautiful day.

Leigh: *Walks by*

Jesy: What a beautiful gay.

-

Camila: This right here is my wall of achievements, everything great that I've ever done is on this wall.

Normani: Camila, there's only a picture of me on the wall...

Camila: You're the greatest achievement of my entire life Mani, of course you're on the wall.

-

Jade: The stars are so beautiful tonight.

Perrie: They're giant balls of gas.

Jade: Look, don't ruin the momen-

Perrie: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Jade: *Choking up* Oh...

-

Camila: Oh my Dinah.

Ally: Don't you mean "oh my god"?

Camila: Look, you worship your things and I'll worship mine, m'kay?

-

Perrie: Did you two sleep together?

Jesy and Leigh: No!

Perrie: Double negative - it's a yes!

Leigh: How are you only smart when it comes to proving us wrong????

-

Simon: You need a hobby.

Ally: I have a hobby.

Simon: Protecting and loving the girls isn't a hobby.

Ally: *Mockingly* prOteCTing aNd LoVinG thE giRls iSnt a HobBy

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