13 Reasons Why Imagines [Wattys 2k17]

Jeff Atkins Personal

Jeff's POV

"I don't know man she just seems off." I say looking at Clay from across the table. He looks at me worry in his eyes.

"What do you mean off?" He asks, I sigh and pinch  the bridge of my nose.

"She doesn't want to go out anymore, like I understand not wanting to see people from school, and I understand she is dealing with all these Hannah shit. No offense. But she doesn't even wanna go grocery shopping." I sigh and lay my head down on the library table.

"Have you tried asking whats wrong?" He asks, I look up and glare at him.

"Yes. Of course." I say rolling my eyes.

"Dude I am just trying to help if you don't want my advice don't talk to me about it." He snaps, I groan and apologize for being snappy.

"It's just so confusing you know. Like one minute she's happy go lucky dancing around and the next she doesn't want to get out of bed."

"Just talk to her about it. Tell her your worried and that its not good to keep everything bottled up." Clay says a sad smile on his face. "I wish I would've done that with Hannah, but its to late now for me."

"Your right. I'll talk to her later tonight." I say smiling at him. We continue to study and do our history homework.

•••
It's 4:30 and I'm just headed home, I go out and get in my car turning on the radio. No Vacancy by OneRepublic is on. I text Arabella quickly then set my phone down before pulling out of the parking lot.

J- Hey want anything from the grocery store I am headed there now and then to your place.

A- Some chocolate.
A- and Humpty Dumpty BBQ chips.
A- Also Diet Coke and ice cream. I love you❤😍

I get to the store and see that Arabella texted me 3 times and I just laugh at her replying with I love you more❤❤.

Arabella's POV

I hear the doorbell ring so I jump up off my position on the couch and answer the door. My handsome boyfriend is standing there with bags of food, I grab some and begin unloading. A frozen pizza, 3 bags of chips, 2 pints of Ben and Jerries ice cream, Diet Coke, Hershey chocolate, and some ring dings.

"Damn Jeffy. You went all out." I laugh wrapping my arm around his waist, he pulls me into a tight hug.

We decide we would cook the pizza since it was already around 5:15, and watch a movie in the living room until the pizza is done cooking. I preheat the oven and prepare to put the pizza in. Jeff walks into the living room to chose a movie.

"Are you good with Hunger Games?" He shouts to me, I agree with him.

I join him on the couch and put a blanket on us and cuddle into his side. We lay there for a while just sitting in silence, enjoying each others company. We don't need to be talking in order to be happy and content with each other. 

•••

We finished eating pizza and have decided to go lay in my bed eat ice cream and chocolate while watching How I Met Your Mother. I grab the 2 ice creams and he grabs the chocolate and the rings dings.

"What episode do you wanna watch?" I ask laying down next to him. He shrugs his shoulder and flips through his Instagram.

"I really don't care they are all funny." He says smiling over at me, I nod my head in agreement and chose a random episode.

He grabs ahold of my hand playing with my fingers. He runs his thumb over my hand drawing small patterns. I feel him inch up towards my wrist, my breath hitches and my heart starts beating faster.

"Babe you okay?" He asks softly continuing rubbing his thumb on my hand. I nod my head not able to form the word yes. His eyes squint slightly, he ceases drawing the patterns. He firmly grasps my hand and pulls it towards him.

"Arabella. Tell me what's going on. You've changed." He says softly, gradually pulling the sleeve up of my sweatshirt.

"Jeff..." I say as soon as his eyes lay on my scars and cuts.

"When." He demands, tears well up in my eyes. "When! When did you need me and I wasn't there for you!" He shouts tears falling down his cheeks rapidly.

"Since Hannah died. I have this overwhelming feeling of guilt and of hatred towards myself. Jeff I'm toxic to you. Please don't get involved." I cry, he grabs ahold of me and hugs me tightly.

"Baby. We can get through this together. You didn't cause her to do what she did. Do not I repeat do not. Blame yourself." He commands his face buried in my hair, his tears making my hair wet. 

"Jeff she was my best friend and I didn't do anything, I didn't stop her. I didn't even know! I was so clueless!" I shout my throat hurting from trying to keep my sobs and tears in. He tightens his grip on me and sighs.

"Babygirl, you couldn't of known, and I know if you did you would've stopped her, you wouldn't let her. Would Hannah want you to feel this way about herself?" He lifts his head slightly so that he can look down at me. 

"No, she wouldn't want me to hurt myself or the people who love me..." I mumble, I look up at his face and give him a small smile. 

"Listen, next time you want to hurt yourself you call me and when I arrive you hit me. On the arm or something. Okay." He states, I squint my eyes and furrow my eyebrows.

"Why would I hit you?" I question moving my body so I am facing him.

"I would rather you hurt me than hurt yourself." 

"No. I'm not hurting you."

"But it hurts me more when you hurt yourself." He deadpans, I lean up and kiss him softly.

"We will get through this together. No more hurting. No more hiding. No more secrets. Just us."

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