Girl by Blake Nelson

Chapter 22

It was Cybil's idea to try to sneak in. Me and Rebecca were like, yeah right, but Cybil thought there must be a back entrance so we walked around the block and sure enough there was an alley with a locked fence across it. Matthew went first. He crawled up on a Dumpster and climbed the fence and jumped over to the other side. Then he snuck down the alley and around a corner and we waited while he checked it out. And Rebecca was freaking out like what if there were dogs or Matthew got shot, how would we get home? Cybil got on the Dumpster to look out and me and Rebecca were supposed to be watching the street but it was too scary so we climbed up with Cybil. And then Matthew came back and did thumbs-up and Cybil immediately started climbing over. And me and Rebecca were like, Cybil, but she said, "You wanted to see the show, didn't you?" And there was no way we were going to get left behind on that dark street so we started climbing. And the fence was all wet and gross and I immediately caught my tights and got a big run and Rebecca caught her dress but Cybil had jeans on so it was easy for her. And then we ran down the alley and it was misting and dark and spooky as anything. We gathered at the corner and peeked around and there was a loading area with a van and a rent-a- truck and we all ran behind the van and hid. And then a door opened and we could hear the music inside and this guy ran out and got something from the truck and hurried back in. Cybil ran after him and tried to catch the door but it locked. So we stayed behind the van and then a different guy came out and he lit a cigarette and he just stood there and we peeked through the van windows at him and then Cybil whispered that we should try to talk to him, it was our only chance. But it didn't matter because he heard us and he stepped around the van and there we were.

His name was Ian and he was English and he was the singer of the Astral Planes. We told him we were friends of Color Green, besides being big fans of his of course, and he said Color Green was playing right now and it was almost over. He knocked on the door and asked the man if the supporting act was over yet and the man said yes. And when they opened the door we could hear Todd saying good night to the audience. And then Ian told us to wait in the truck because we were going to catch cold. So we squeezed into the truck and we were all wet and I looked down and I had this huge rip in my cow dress.

It got worse. When Todd and Luke and everybody came out there was an extra person and it was female and it was Jessica. I knew it was her. She was dressed like she was grunge but it was totally fake because she was super clean and her face was creamy smooth and you could tell she was a star and probably a total bitch. And I was so embarrassed and jealous of Jessica I didn't want to get out. But Ian had told Todd we were there and he opened the door and very slowly and very reluctantly we came down from the truck. And Todd looked at us and Jessica looked at us and they said we looked like drowned rats. I stayed as far away as possible from Todd but he saw me and smiled at me and I just turned away. And everybody was looking at Jessica and she knew it and she just laughed at us and told Todd we were his fan club and weren't we cute? And it was so embarrassing and Matthew was stammering to Todd about what a big influence he was and finally Cybil took charge and asked Ian if we could leave through the club so we wouldn't have to climb the fence. Ian got a bouncer to escort us and we said good-bye to Todd and the bouncer marched us through the club. It was hot inside and loud and packed with people and then we were outside again, back on the cold side- walk and we were all wet and Jessica was right, we were like drowned rats.

But at least Matthew wasn't so stoned now. We got in his car and cranked up the heat and we didn't know what to do and I suggested going to the University of Washington. So we asked some people and we found our way there and we found the main drag of coffee shops and stuff and we went into a cafe and had tea. And then Matthew talked to this girl with a Cyanide T-shirt and she told us about this lounge on campus where we could maybe sleep. So we tried to find it and we got lost and then we found a party of the University Hiking Club and it was all these drunk guys with beards. And then we found this passageway to another building and we walked around and looked at all these classrooms and offices and read the cartoons on the doors. And then we met two hippie guys and they told us about another party and we tried to find it but we got lost. And then we found these women with dreadlocks and they were checking us out like they didn't believe we were prospective students because we were so dirty and wet. But they showed us where the party was and we went in and it was this dark room with all these cool people dancing and a band playing and we were like, wow. And the people were dressed like HOP! except even better and it was like Outer Limits minus the skinheads and the jerks, and just the coolest people. And even Cybil was excited and we pushed up toward the front and the band were these cool punk boys with sunglasses and ripped shirts. And we started jumping around and dancing and all the college guys were noticing us and trying to meet us but we ignored them and it was so fun!

Cybil found some girls who were in a sorority and me and her slept there and Rebecca and Matthew slept in a lounge some- where and had wild sex all night. According to Rebecca. And back at school she told everyone about our wild adventures, which freaked me out because I didn't want Mr. Perry to hear about it. And I told my parents that I liked the University of Washington but I didn't know if it was good enough academically and it seemed like too much of a party school.

And then a couple weeks later Cybil was downtown and she thought she heard two girls talking about Todd and it sounded like he was back and living with Carla. I had not heard from him or written to him and I had gone out with Kevin a couple times and we had pretty intense sex. But I didn't love Kevin. I loved Todd. Maybe not in a practical way but definitely with all my heart. And in a way it was easier to love him because he was safely out of reach and always in Seattle and I didn't have to worry about loving him too much or playing hard to get. I went to Taco Time with Cybil and I asked her what I should do and she told me not to get my hopes up because Todd was a big shot in cool Seattle and we were nobodies in stupid Portland.

Then Sins of Our Fathers got their first headlining show at Outer Limits and Matthew was so excited and we all went to his house to help make posters. We picked out cool pictures and lettering and then the next day we went postering down- town and we ran around and stapled the posters on telephone poles. And I swear, if you want to meet people putting up posters is the best because pretty soon these two skater boys were helping us and letting us ride their skateboards and then we met their girlfriends and these other boys came and pretty soon there was a whole mob of us. And everyone loved the poster, which was this Vietnamese guy shooting another guy in the head and beneath it huge letters that said: SINS OF OUR FATHERS. And other people came up to us and we gave them posters out of the stack to put up in their rooms. And then Rebecca came running up the street and she had just given posters to Carla, and Carla said Todd was in California seeing about his record but he'd be back and she'd bring him to the show.

The next day was Matthew's seventeenth birthday and we celebrated by putting up posters at school but of course the teachers ripped them down immediately and Mrs. Katz made an announcement saying there would be no unauthorized political advertisements allowed at Hillside. But we had already given out a bunch so some people had them in their lockers and in general it seemed like people at Hillside were finally noticing that something cool was happening. At lunch we had a little birthday party for Matthew at Taco Time but he was really stoned on pot and it was sort of weird. And then after school I went over to Cybil's to try on some miniskirts and help her figure out her outfit for the big show. And we listened to Girl Patrol and talked about school and going to Seattle and it was the nicest time I'd had with her in a long time.

The show was on Friday night and Outer Limits was total chaos. There were four other bands, Party Hats, Curmudgeon, Nation of Pain, and Drano. And there were people running all over and everyone was nervous including Richard and Greg, who were arguing with another guy about where they could put their stuff. Me and Rebecca sat outside on the curb and there were all these skinheads across the street and some redneck flannel boys and one boy kept puking in the bushes and it was definitely not a University of Washington party.

And then when Party Hats played we went inside and Jerry Kruger was there. He was in the front and he was slamming and so was Bobby Wingate, who was a Hillside football player, and they were totally smashing people. And me and Rebecca exchanged looks like, What are they doing here? And everyone was bumming out and trying to get away from them and Elaine of Party Hats even said in the mike that they were assholes and to go back to the suburbs. And me and Rebecca were so embarrassed because if it wasn't for our posters around Hillside they wouldn't have even known about it.

And then Todd and Luke and Carla showed up. They were outside on the sidewalk and I was afraid to go out there but then Matthew wanted to smoke pot and Rebecca wanted to go with him so I went too. We went out and walked down the street a little ways and I didn't even look in Todd's direction. Matthew found a doorway and he lit his pipe and smoked it and Rebecca smoked some too. And I just watched and then Todd and Luke came running over and it was so embarrassing because I thought they were coming to talk to me but they just wanted pot. And Todd was ignoring me and smoking pot and Matthew was try- ing to ask him about record contracts and how did he meet Buzz Mitchell. And then Todd offered me the pipe. I shook my head but Matthew was like, "Go ahead, Andrea." But I had tried pot once and it made me so stupid I couldn't talk. And then Rebecca took it from Todd and told them I was allergic and that saved me. And meanwhile Jerry and Bobby Wingate had come outside and some girl was yelling at Jerry and he just laughed and when her hippie boyfriend tried to say something Bobby Wingate pushed him over a car hood and dropped him in the street.