Chapter 12: Earnestly Liking Someone

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Translator: El

Editors: Lily & Miyuki

Proofreader: Jesse


Yang Jian took my hand then looked at me.

I also looked at him.

At that time a lot of things were running through my mind.

I started thinking about my time in high school; back then I liked my best friend but could only hide it from him. In the end he became more and more alienated from me.

After I had discovered my sexual orientation I didn't dare come into contact with other people; in the end my attitude annoyed some of those people and they stopped me in a garage to give me a beating.

Then I started remembering back to the time I came out to my family, even though my mother had always had a bad temper that was the first time she really took out a chopper.

I slowly withdrew my hand.

He asked: "Your answer?"

I said: "Give me some time."

He tilted his head while thinking and then said: "How about next week? Next Friday we can go sing karaoke."

I nodded.

He once again took my hand, rubbed my palm and said: "Then I will wait for you." After that he stood up.

Before he left, he looked deeply into my eyes, which caused a pinch in my heart.

However, I still closed the door.

I returned to the computer and saw that the QQ chat box was still open, the conversation had stopped at the sentence "Because I want things to never change."

I typed in the words: "That's impossible."

I thought the person on the other end wouldn't wait for me; however, the other side typed "Uh" back.

I didn't know what to to talk about and I wasn't in the mood to chat; when I was about to say goodbye, the person typed: "But if there is a chance, I want to change together with the person I like."

I suddenly laughed and asked: "Do you like someone?"

After a long time, I got a reply: "....yes"

"That's good, the one that you like must be very happy."

"Why do you say that?"

"In this world how many people are willing to accompany another person through change?"

We always want others to accommodate us but in the end we don't want to accommodate others. Sometimes it's not that we don't love each other, rather it's because we can't tolerate each other's edges and corners.

I froze for a moment, feeling a bit frustrated. Unexpectedly I can have such deep and profound thoughts, it seems like I have sunken into an imbalanced endocrine period.

"But the other person doesn't know I like him..."

I was surprised: "Impossible, you're such a good catch!"

"...Not at all."

I was a bit curious and asked: "What does that person look like?"

"....Looks like a human."

I almost sprayed saliva on the screen; of course I know he would look like a human, should he look like a mammal?

After a long pause there came a paragraph.

"I also don't know why I like him. At first, I just thought that he was very interesting and began to pay attention to him. Then I unconsciously stood in places where I knew he wouldn't be able to see me so I could watch him. Then slowly, it seems like if I didn't see that person for even one day, it felt like something was missing."

"Watching him working hard every day makes me feel distressed for him, why does he try so hard..."

"Obviously it's just some trivial matter, but looking at him holding a file running in the company's corridor or rushing to catch an elevator, I was very moved. There were several times I couldn't help but want to tell him that being a little slow doesn't matter, take your time...Even when he is eating, the way he devours his food so ravenously also looks very cute....."

I didn't know why I was blushing, then I thought back to when I was going through puberty. One day I was standing outside the classroom and saw a juvenile holding books for a school assignment and he was running towards me, I went over to take half of the books in his hands.

That feeling of pain while looking at him putting all his efforts into his work, along with his grateful smile, I still remember it clearly.

I rubbed my face, you are already twenty six, stop being so innocent.

The other side must be feeling embarrassed because they didn't say anything more about the matter of love, instead they just said: "Tomorrow I have to go on a business trip."

I was surprised that I was feeling a little disappointed; however, there would still be internet, so I asked: "For how long?"

"Probably come back next week."

"Oh"

"Go to sleep early."

I unconsciously nodded, then I realized the other person couldn't see it, so I quickly typed": "Uh, good night."

She said: "Goodnight and sweet dreams."

000

That night I didn't have a dream or perhaps I had a dream but didn't remember it come morning.

On Monday, my Monday Syndrome appeared again.

I waited until the last minute to get up, then got turned into an ad flyer that was glued onto the window of the bus; after I exited the bus with my usual bed hair hairstyle, everything seemed to be smooth sailing.

Afterwards I ought to go to the elevator and see the president.

I set my mind and walked to the elevator.

But President wasn't there.

I skipped one elevator ride, maybe the president has not arrived yet. Then I looked at my watch, without an option I entered the elevator.

Someone in the elevator asked.

"Where is the President?

"It seems like he went abroad to the branch company."

"Supervisors like them had to run around, huh."

I suddenly feel like my mind was completely empty or better yet like a production line that was stuck on the last step and was unable to finish the product.

I just thought, if Miss Secretary is going on a business trip, certainly she would be going with the president.

I sighed, thinking about not being able to ride with him in the elevator or not being able to see him in the canteen for one week, I felt somewhat lost.

At noon, I had to accept that he really wasn't there.

At night, I buzzed Miss Secretary's QQ but there was no response, she was probably too busy.

I opened the game I had abandoned for a while, but found out that I couldn't get a grip on it. After I decided to stop playing the game I decided to try my hand at minesweeper, unexpectedly I had broken a record.

The world sure is full of wonder.

Tuesday was also the same.

I eventually realized that there is nothing left that I can use as a temporary escape, I had to go and face it head on.

Ever since Tuesday night, I started to seriously think about how I should answer Yang Jian and ever since that night, I began to have insomnia.

Words from the Author:

11: Though it's an emotional drama, nevertheless it should be written seriously.... 

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