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"what if hes married and has another family , what if wants nothing to do with you or what if agree's to meet you just so he can use you . Anyway whats wrong with the way things are now , we have a roof over our heads , food in our stomach , clothes on our backs and eachother , i just dont understand why you would want to meet him , he dosnt even know you exist ."

my mum and i had been arguing for at least an hour whether i was aloud to finally get in contact with my dad

mum please, i begged , its my life , i know your trying to protect me but its my decision and you never know , he might have a family of his own but he also may be happy that he has a daughter and welcome me with open arms and if he dosnt thats fine because at least id know i tried !!
drained from this ongoing descussion , she sighed heavily and reluctantly agreed. " ok I'LL look him up and ill talk to him first and see if he's willing and if he'ssssss in good condition , you can only get in contact with him when say its safe , ok "
grinning like a chesire cat i agreed and ran to my mum to hug her , i can only imagine what me asking to see my father makes her feel like ... great now i feel bad .
"hey mum" i look at her and see shes exhausted ," none of this is going to change me and you , you know , i am not suddenly going to block you out and pretend your nothing to me , i love you ":) "
i love you too sweetie "

A FEW WEEKS lATER
"Raven" my mum called up to me , " Raven can you come down staires please i need to talk to you ,Raven ive tried to contact your dad every way possible but its as if he's gone off the face of the earth , i am sorry sweetie"
"its ok mum you tried , and i dont really need to meet im i mean you and i are fine on our own we dont need him " i was lying through me teeth i desperatly wanted to meet him , i dont know i just felt compelled to find him .



LATER THAT YEAR

"mum , mum "i screamed" mum wake up , please "
fireman and paramedics rushed in from both sides,"mum we have to get out of the car ! "
her blue eyes open slightly and looked at me , it was as if she had no idea what was going on , that she had no idea we had spun out of control and gone into a tree, "mum stay awake please "
firemen were grabbing my arms and trying to pull me away from the crash , whilst i was desperatly trying ro stay with my mum , but it was no use the firemen were much stronhger than i was , no matter how hard i treid .they brought me to an ambulance , gave me a blanket and made sure i was ok and not to badly injured whilst the police questioned me on what happened. all i could think was why thad they given me a blanket what good is a blanket going to do , if they wanted to help me the best thing they could do is make sure my mum was ok .
"get her out of here" i heard some one say next thing i know theve shut the ambulance doors and started driving to the hospital .
its been two hours and i still havent been told anything about my mum. All ive been doing is sitting in these uncomfortable chairs , waiting. A doctor came out of the room my mum's in and walked over to me, he had a plain navy shirt onn under his big white coat , short black hair and glasses. i had so many questions for him but before i could even begin to ask , he sat down next to me and tried to sympathies with me as he explained that my mum suffered from enternal bleeding in almost every organ and that the doctors and nurses did the best they could , eventually he said the what i was dredding "she didnt make it "
i just sat there , tears streaming down my face . " i am sorry but i have to ask , do you have anyine you can stay with for tonight at least so we are able to find some where more perminant ." i nodded trying to figure out what just happened . only a small part of me was brought back to reality when when the doctor asked me another question
"can you tell us who you might be able to stay with so we can contact them and ask them to pick you up.?"

Sarah my friend sarah jones i answered my voice was meak but he herd me . he asked a nearby nurse to contact her. within half an hour sarah and her mum had come to get me , sarah ran over to me with open arms and hugged me , she didnt say anything she just hugged me. and i am glad about that because thats what i needed , someones embrace and what would she have said to me anyway , i dont want her pitty.





 

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