Don't Let It Win

part 1

jodie's p.o.v

I kept staring at the blade just inches away from me, tempted to grab it and end all the pain "Jo!" I shook my head and slowly walked out of my room "yes mom?" my mom was like any other mom I guess, but some reason I didn't trust her.

"some people moved in across the street and they have a girl your age, they are coming for dinner so I need you to clean up around the house and get some thing's for me" Ugh I don't wanna meet new people "fine" I went back into my room and looked in the mirror.

ewww, I'm almost 18 and I'm still here. I have black hair and blue eye's, I wear all black and yea pretty much Nothing to me. I grabbed a pair of black Jean's and a long sleeved black shirt and put them on.

I grabbed my eyeliner and put it on and then grabbed my phone, headphones and the list my mom gave me and I walked down stairs "be careful" she said before I left "yea OK".

I walked to the store and quickly got what she needed so now I can use my money to buy some thing's, I got a sharpener, a razor and some bandages. don't ask. and added them to the bag and went to check them out.

"wow that's some weird stuff" the cheery lady said "yea whatever" I replied not wanting to talk "so how-" I stopped her "look I'm not here to talk, just check out my stuff and let me leave" she nodded and mumbled "excuse me?" I said.

"oh Nothing" she replied smiling "just saying that you don't have to be Such a b*tch just because your a little emo child" I snapped and tried to jump on her but someone held me back.

I didn't look at them, I kept trying to get to that lady "we'll just take these" whoever it was said and grabbed my stuff and led me out the door "dude what the hell" I turned around to see a girl, she had on black and she was just like me except she had brown hair and brown eye's.

"sorry I just didn't wanna see you get kicked out" she smiled and walked away. she was beautiful but she's gone. I walked home listening to my chemical romance and when I got home I took my stuff out and hid it in my pocket then went to the kitchen to put everything where it goes.

"honey they'll be here in 45 minutes, I'll finish and you go get dressed" I left and went up to my room and grabbed my blade "just a couple cuts" I went to the bathroom and turned on the sink and began to put little scars all over my arm.

"their here!" my mom yelled and I quickly cleaned up what I was doing, did I really do that for 45 minutes? I ran down the stairs to see them. it was a mom and a daughter but the daughter was the one from the store.

I walked into a different room but someone grabbed me "honey come meet them" I sighed and followed my mom to the couch "Hi I'm Christina and this is my daughter Jodie" I stopped her "but call me Jodie and I'll hurt you, call me Jo"

my mom sighed and the lady began "oh well I'm Kelly and this is my daughter Cassidy but she likes to be called Cass" my mom smiled and then led Kelly to the kitchen "dinner will be done soon but until then you girl's can hang out"

I sighed and started walking to my room "uh Jo?" I turned around to Cass "can I come with?" I nodded and she followed me up to my room. I sat on my bed and she just stood there looking awkward. I decided to start a conversation "so Cass, do you like music?"

she nodded and pointed to my my chemical romance poster "oh so your a mcr fan?" she smiled and nodded "cool" I smiled back and thought a bit before Cass called my name "sorry to stop your thinking, but your mom is calling us to come to dinner.

I followed Cass down stairs and we sat down together "so Kelly I hear that you have a son a bit older then Jo" she nodded "he's in newyork right now but yea" my mom smiled "I might set Jo up with him" I shook my head "no mom" she frowned "but why not? you never even look at guys"

"because I don't want to" I said "Jo, your gonna start talking to some guys Cause you are not staying here forever" "no mom!" I said loudly "why are you like this! you need to grow up!" I had it "I am grown, but I'm like this because I'm gay!"

everyone became silent and my mom was wide eyed "excuse me?" she said "I'm gay, I don't like guys I like girl's" my mom stood up and looked down at me "get out" Kelly and Cass both just sat there "get out of this house!" I stood up and walked away and out the door

I started crying and I ran down the street and sat on the sidewalk crying. why me?