Chapter 9

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Monday 10th January 2014

Ow. My whole body is aching like crazy and my arms and legs feel like they're on fire. I feel like I'm lying on a cloud though, so am I dead? It hurts a lot more than I thought it would, so I don't think I am dead. Fucking hell man, why am I in so much pain?. Ugh.

The annoying ringing sound that has been filling my ears is starting to leave and I can hear whispering. Good, something to focus on other than the excruciating pain that I'm in right now.

"Lou I swear I can't stop shaking, I can't believe she would actually try to do...that" Harry's voice is lower than usual and it cracks a few times. No way is he crying though, right? He doesn't care about me, none of them do.

"Hey it's ok yeah? Look she's fine now, Harry, she's gonna be ok" Louis speaks up in a soft voice. It almost sounds like he's comforting Harry. Wow I'm so confused.

They continue to talk softly but I zone out before too long; I'm so tired. How am I even alive though? I DIED. I know I did. God I can't even kill myself properly, I'm useless. One small tear rolls out of my closed eye and down my cheek as I am falling asleep and I swear I can feel someone gently wipe it away before unconsciousness claims my mind.


I wake up to the sound of frantic voices from a short distance away. I can make out Harry, Niall and someone else, whose voice I don't recognise. There's also someone by the bed, I can hear their breathing and they keep moving slightly, like they're uncomfortable. I think it's Liam because, let's face it, Louis and Zayn hate my guts.

"Sir now really isn't a good time, can't you come back later or something?" Harry's voice is still low and hoarse but now there is a sense of pleading in it.

"Styles I will not ask you again. Now step aside! Let me in the damn room right this second" the third man almost growls at Harry. His voice is horrible, deep and scratchy, it sounds like he needs to cough, and like every word hurts to say.

"Sir, I have to agree with Harry. She's not up to giving you what you want-er I mean need, today. She needs to rest first, I insist," Niall sounds a lot calmer than Harry, a lot more professional, maybe this is why the mystery man takes a deep breath to calm himself down before answering.

"Why does this damn girl need so much rest?" He mutters before raising his voice and calling out louder,

"Payne! You're meant to be qualified in this area. Why is she sleeping so much? Every time I come here you all say she 'needs rest' and I'm getting impatient now" the way he speaks to Liam is disgusting, like he thinks of him as unworthy to even speak with him. Poor Liam.

"Um, y-yes sir. She is sleeping a lot which could be due to, er, the stress and trauma in her life recently. You see when something traumatic happens to someone, especially fragile people like her, their bodies cope by-"

"Yeah yeah whatever that's enough nurse boy. Just make sure she's awake next time I'm here, I'm not being held off again." I hear stomping feet, closely followed by three sighs of relief.

"That was too close guys, if he saw her like this god knows what he would have done! He wants her healthy, remember? Wow we're so dead" I'll admit, Niall sounds really panicky when he says this. But why does this person want me healthy? Surely me being fucked up will help them more?

The room is silent now and I hear the three boys leave, gently closing the door behind them. Finally, I can actually open my eyes, and I nearly scream at the sight I see when I look down. Oh my god my body. I'm lying in just a pair of shorts and a crop top, so that the air can get to my wounds, of which there are many. I don't even remember hurting myself this much. All the way up my arms and legs my skin is cut to ribbons and my stomach is no better. On top of that, I'm covered black, purple and blue bruises from where I fell. I gingerly reach up to my head and can confirm that I did hit my head when I feel a thick bandage wrapped around it.

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