I'm trying to understand what they are saying. I'm trying to absorb all the words that are coming out from their mouth pero hindi ko talaga maintindihan. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang irereact ko. Parang biglang namanhid ang buong katawan ko sa mga sinasabi nila. I'm trying to convince myself na joke time lang 'to but knowing Chris, alam kong seryoso siya.
"I'm not saying this para maawa kayo sa kanya nor gamitin 'to para mapatawad niyo siya. I just thought that it is your right as Phil's former friends, you deserve the truth. Especially you, Mitch." Pagpapaliwanag ni Chris.
"What is the point of hiding all of these craps to us for such a long time? Ano 'to? Drama? Joke time?"
"I don't intend to make you believe the things I am telling you now. All I want is for you to know." Sabi ni Chris sa mahinahong boses pero mahahalata mo na medyo naiinis na sa inaasal ni Mike.
"Kung totoo 'yan, bakit ngayon lang?" tanong ko. Hindi ko na kayang manahimik. Marami akong gustong itanong pero 'di ko lang masabi.
"Ayaw niyang magulo tayo, guys. At first, di ko rin maintindihan, pero after ng mga rason niya naintindihan ko ang sitwasyon niya." pagpapaunawa ni Lovely.
"That's bullsh*t! Alam niya na kahit anong mangyari noon magkakaramay tayo. Alam niya dati na sobra pa tayo sa kaibigan. We were family for Christ's sake!" galit na asik ni Mike
"To be honest, sa akin, ok lang eh. Pero di ba nya naisip na may naiwan siya ditto sa Pilipinas? Na naiwan niya ditto si Mitch? Di ba niya inisip na may lumuluha araw-araw kasi iniwan niya lang ng walang paalam? To hell with his sickness! Alam niya na kayang iwan lahat ni Mitch para sa kanya at kayang tanggapin ni Mitch lahat para sa kanya! Damn, she was so hurt that time! How selfish he was of thinking that leaving us without explanation will be the best thing to do?! Damn!! That is just so fu*k*n sh*t!" sabi ni Mike.
"Selfish?" sagot ni Chris kay Mike sabay tawa na pagak. Tawa na alam mong peke at nanunuya na hindi makapaniwala.
"Iyon ba talaga ang tingin niyo? I really don't know what happened pero he's been continually contacting you guys for the first few months, he even wrote letters to Mitch trying to expain what he is going through but no one dared to answer all those letters. Even one reply, there was none. So sino sa tingin niyo ang selfish? He was trying his best to communicate para di kayo magalit sa kanya pero kayo ang lumayo! Kayo ang nawala! He was not allowed to use computer or any radiated materials because he was under medication kaya 'yun lang ang means of communication niya pero may natanggap ba siyang sagot? Ha? Mitch! May natanggap ba siya?! WALA!! Kaya sumuko siya not because nagalit siya! Sumuko siya because he knows that it would be better na sumuko siya! Tao rin ang kapatid ko! Napapagod rin!" galit na pahayag ni Chris.
"Sulat?" takang tanong ni Lovely.
"Yes, he've been writing letters to Mitch expecting na may pakialam pa kayo sa kanya. Nung una gusto kong itanong sa iyo kung bakit parang wala naman kayong pakialam sa mga sulat eh madalas siya magpadala pero when our topic goes to Phil, you shut me out, sabi mo you don't want to talk about him. Masakit sa akin yun pero being your boyfriend I respected your decisions." - Chris
"Mitch? Have you received the letters?" nagtatakang tanong ni Lovely.
Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago ko sinagot ang tanong ni Lovely.
"Yes. Natanggap ko siya ka.."
"See? Sinong selfish?!" galit na si Chris.
"Natanggap mo and you did not even bother telling us about it? You made us believed that you were truly hurt all these time?" nalilitong baling ni Lovely
"Kahapon ko lang natanggap lahat."
"Ha? That's impossible! Everyday halos may dumarating na sulat kasi sinasabay ni Phil ang pagpapadala sa mga papeles ng kumpanya." Si Chris
"Brian blocked all the letters. He told me that he was just so jealou.."
"That Damn Bastard!" galit na sabi ni Mike.
Nakita ko ang pag-ngiti ni Chris pero ang ngiting iyon ay parang ngiting 'di makapaniwala.
"I guess wala sa side ni Phil ang pagkukulang. Well, kahit pa man nalaman na ganoon nga ang nagyari, I can say it's just too late to bring back the time that was wasted already. My brother was already hurt. You guys were already hurt. And no one on both sides are selfish. Brian was the selfish one. I can't blame him, I think he was just in love. But you guys were just to naïve in believing." Si Chris.
"Layo ng tingin natin, ah."
"Welcome back to the busy Land of New York." Bati ni Sab
"I've talked to your Doctor a while ago, bakit di mo sinabi ang complications?"
Nagulat ako sa sinabi ni Sab, I thought na matatapos ang operation na hindi nila malalaman ang complications na sabi ng doctor.
"I've done enough, Babe. Ayoko nang dagdagan. Sobrang laki na ng atraso ko, I think that when I tell you about the complications would only add the burden. Pagod na akong maging pabigat. I just don't think i could still bear adding a burden on your part. With you knowing or not knowing about the complications, I will still promise to do my best to fight, definitely not for myself but for you guys who continually fight for me."
"Ok I understand but no, you should not fight for us but for yourself."
"I think it would be better if I will fight for you guys because to be honest, if I will fight for myself, I'd really choose not to come back anymore." Pagod na tugon ko kay Sab and looked at the glass window again that showed the beautiful city of New York.
"Well then, it would really be better if you fight for us. I'll be expecting you in this room after your operation. That is not a request because that is a demand!"
After saying those words Sab left the room and I was left alone. The day after tomorrow will be my operation. I am feeling nervous because I know that this is a do or die situation. After the operation, my life would either start or end my life. Yes, I'm really tired but when I realize that my family is hurting as much as I am hurting I try to remind myself that they are also a part of me that I should treasure, that I have the responsibility to return.
Sometimes, I am closing my eyes and trying to imagine that when I open it, I can see Mitch standing in front of me, telling me how much it would mean if I survive the operation. She will tell me that she'll be waiting for me outside the operating room and when I wake up from my sleep we would be together again. Masaya sana 'yon. If that will happen, by hook or by crook I will come back. If I need to fight against all the demons that would get on my way back, I'd be very willing to kill and defeat them all but I think all these things are and will be just part of my imaginations because I know to myself that it is impossible. I know to myself that if is way too impossible and I should wake myself up from that dream because staying in that dream would only hurt me. And I just don't understand why it hurt so badly. Really, really bad.
When I opened my eyes from a painful imagination, I saw a very beautiful lady staring at me as if she is waiting for me to open my eyes and notice her existence. When I clearly saw her face, I was really shocked and I don't know how to control my heartbeat, it's like I'm gonna collapse any time soon.
"M-Mitch.....?" I uttered in disbelief. Am I still dreaming?
BINABASA MO ANG
Kung Pwede Lang SanaRomance
Bakit ba kapag nagmahal ang isang tao parating may kakambal na sakit? Bakit kung kailan handa ka nang magmahal at magtiwala sa sarili mong mamahalin ka ay di pa rin sapat para lumigaya kayo? Bakit hindi pwedeng magpatuloy na lamang ang kaligayahang...