Joke 33

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1.3k reads?!?!?!? 😱 Oh my God! Thanks so much you guys


A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn't think anyone would stand up so she asked him, "Why did you stand up?" He answered, "I didn't want to leave you standing up by yourself."


Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner? So they can take bubble baths


Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"

Brunette: "I don't know."

Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"


My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife

Marrying you screwed up my life


Dear Sidewalk,

Please get wider

Sincerely, the third friend walking behind feeling excluded


If life gives you lemons, find an annoying kid with a paper cut 😛


You wanna know whose amazing and has the cutest smile ever? Read the first word again.


I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes got in my way


An old man calls up his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister. She says, "Like hell they're getting divorced!" and calls her father immediately. "You're not getting divorced! Don't do another thing, the two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and she hangs up.

The old man turns to his wife and says "Okay, they're coming for Christmas and paying their own airfare."


When I don't want to hear about my friends dream....

Friend: I had a dream......

Me: So did Martin Luther King and he died. So Shut the f*** up before you die too.

(Sorry if that offended anyone)


As the Principal made his rounds during the first day of school, he could hear a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms.

He quickly rushed in and spotted one boy, much taller than the others, who appeared to be making the most noise.

He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and told him to remain there until he was excused.

Returning to the classroom, the Principal restored order and lectured the students for quite some time on the importance of good behavior.

"Now," he said, "are there any questions?"

One girl stood up timidly and asked, "Yes, sir. May we please have our teacher back?"


Hey guys, Thanks so much for the 1.3k reads on this book. Love all of you guys 😘

Don't forget to vote (*gives a virtual hug to you*) 🐨

P.S. Did anyone else watch Frozen??? ❄️❄️❄️ Olaf was soooooo cute. ⛄️

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