Chapter 4: Why Can't Everyone Be Like Jonny?

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Chapter 4:

Sidney has officially started to freak the fuck out. He was fine in the locker room, near all his understanding teammates. Now, sitting in his lonely hotel room, he doesn't know what to do. He can't go bother his teammates anymore. He doesn't want to act all clingy and stuff. Trying to contact parents or someone would be a big mistake.

So he calls the one person he can who knows what he's going through.

"Sidney, it's almost three in the morning. What do you want?" Jonathan Toews asks, his voice groggy.

"It's only like midnight."

"I'm in Toronto asshole." Jonny sighs, "What do you want?"

"Have you checked Twitter recently?" Sid asks, resisting the urge to chew on his finger nails.

"Yeah I did." Jonny pauses. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. That's kind of the reason I wanted to call you, oh smart one." Jonny chuckles that really adorable laugh that Sid loves.

"Well you already know that I would help you hoist up that rainbow flag any day of the week." Sid chuckles lightly, "Seriously Sidney. Forget about everyone else. Forget about the fans, the press, the Penguins, me, hockey, your family. Foget everything." Jonny stops to let that sink in. "Now what do you want to do? What do you think would be best for Sidney?" Sid runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

"You are. the absolutely worst advice giver in all of mankind." Sidney jokes.

"Hey! It's not my fault that your life is one big soap opera and when you finally get some action it gets plastered all over the news." Jonny defends.

"Baby, who are you talking to?" a deep voice says from the other end.

"Uh. Uh.. No one. Just go back to sleep." Jonny says to the other person.

"'Kay. Love you." the deep voice says, Jonny returns it right before the door clicks shut.

"Was that Kaner?" Sidney asks. Jonny groans.

"Yes, Oh my god. Don't freak out on me."

"Why didn't you tell me!? You've had feelings for him since.. since you knew what feelings are." Sidney asks. "I feel very betrayed."

"Oh -really-? Then how's the guy in the picture?" Jonny makes a clicking sound with his tongue. Sid's blood freezes over.

"Fine. We're even." Sidney compromises. "But he just told you that he loves you and I consider that to be pretty big and-"

"He's drunk." Jonny interrupts.

"You're an idiot."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Not!"

"Being a captain, you should know better than to sleep with your teammates. Especially when drunk. C'mon Jonny."

"He waltzes in here and starts kissing me before I can even react. It all happened so fast.. I didn't even have time to check if he's drunk.. or.. or if he feels the same about me." Jonny explains. Sidney hears the thud of what he assumes is his friend's head hitting the wall.

"Okay. I understand." He actually doesn't. People don't just come over to his room and come onto his him that. Obviously the mess he's in may or may not be a lot worse.

"Why do you lie to me?" Jonny asks. "You've got a great body and you're sexy and all. But we both know that no guys are lining up at your door," Jonny chuckles at himself. "Though I'm sure they would if you came out."

Sid lets out a small laugh. It feels good just to joke like it's all no big deal, because it's really not.

"If you decide to come out," Jonny says, "make sure you tell me in advance. I wanna support you and defend you in every way possible. And maybe come out too. Because if you start this revolution, there are going to be lots who follow."

"Revolution?" Sid repeats. "It's not even that big of a deal!"

"To us it's nothing. But to all of those peoole who feed off of invading our personal lives to support their families, this is a -big deal-." Jonny replies. "Wayne Gretzky titled you as the 'Great One'. He passed his torch onto you! He said you're gonna really change the game! Well, probably not in this way. But you can still use that flame to light up this path of equality and prove to all that athletes are no exception."

"Hey Jonny,"

"Yes dear?"

"Go to sleep and definitely keep your day job." Jonny giggles at him.

"Will do. Love you, Sidney."

"Love you too."

Sid hangs up, tossing his phone into his bag. With a loud sigh he flops back onto his bed and shuts his eyes.

Thinking over what Jonny said, it actually is a big deal. Having to put everyone else aside to thank about himself. Sidney is not at all selfish, he puts so many others in front of himself. So thinking about what he wants and what he needs is very hard for him. And forgetting about hockey. Impossible.

He has to though, Jonny does know what he's talking about.

Sidney Crosby. Regular person. No professional hockey. No celebrity status. No endorsements. Nothing. About to come out to his parents --

Sidney forces his eyes open. His -parents-. What is he going to say to them? They're going to hate him, that's for sure. They aren't going to love him. Taylor is going to be their new favorite.

Ugh. Taylor! He totally forgot his baby sister. What will he tell her? She might not hate him. She'll probably expect to go shopping for clothes and shoes and go boy watching. Ew, she'll make him listen to her boy crushes (and expect him too, even worse). Taylor is going to have him make a .list of like every guy he's ever had feelings for in the history of his existence. And that would mean having to talk to her about Alex.

Now he's thinking about Alex. Should he tell him? I mean, he guesses that they're friends or whatever. But it's not like he deserves to be told straight up or anything. Ovie has caused him a lot of problems as it is, the last thing he wants is to have to tell the guy he likes about his sexuality.

Wow, he sounds like Jonny when he talks about Kaner. Ew.

He hears his phone start to buzz, so he groans before picking it up.

-need to talk?- the text from Alex reads.

-in the morning- he replies.

-be waiting- is the last thing he reads before shutting it off.

He tucks it under his pillow, laying his head on top of it.

This is all really his fault. It really is. As captain -- and as someone in the closet -- he should've known better than to drink with a rival. He shouldn't have been so irresponsible to let his emotions get in the way of his actions. He really needs to learn to say no, even if his whole body screams yes.

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