This is it. The moment I’ve been waiting for a couple of weeks now. I was going to confess. Even though we were going to be living together after my Dad promised to buy an apartment for the three of us to live in once we get to college, I just thought finally confessing now would give all of us to air out the inevitable awkward air around two of us.
Tonight, at the After Grad Ball, I was going to tell my best friend everything, about how I loved, how long ive been in love, how much I will love…
“YAH! SEUNG YEOL! HAVE YOU SEEN EUN SANG”
I searched around the throng of people and immediately spotted the source of the voice. Even though she was a full three years younger than me, she never got around to using formalities. She never really had enough practice with other people. A little, well not so little anymore, girl came running towards me. With her ripped clothing, red highlights and unusually loud voice, my sister hardly embodied the meaning of her own name.
Seung Yeol: hey, what are you doing running around.
Tae Yeon: well, I went to the bathroom for like two minutes then when I came back to my seat, Eun Sang was gone. Then I just started wandering around trying to look for her and I saw you there talking with your friends. So brother, how is your lovey-dove.
Seung Yeol: YAH TAEYEON! I told you not to mention it when were around other people. What if someone hears and tells!
Even though she was an insipid little brat, Taeyeon was wise beyond her years and was a great listener. She knew of my plans before I did, I didn’t even need to tell her and she already told me step by step what to do. Amazing how much hidden intellect this girl has, if only she didn’t shut most people out.
Tae Yeon: oh you know you want it. And besides, after tonight, every one will know. Everyone. Especially dad.
Oh shit, dad. Forgot about him. What is he even going to think if he founds out i like someone. The ‘talk’ suddenly popped up in my mind again.
Dad: Seung Yeol. You remember what I said earlier to do with your future right?
Seung Yeol: Yes dad, graduate from seoul national university, obtain a degree in business and take up the empire group after you retire. No time for love. No time for heart.
Dad: good. Love can wait. For now, focus on what’s important. Keeping the family business alive. Falling in love ultimately leads to greater sorrow. Theres simply no time for that right now.
Seung Yeol: Dad, It’s been almost 13 years. When will you get over mom’s death.
Dad: She was my only love, how can you get over that! You will never understand. Your sister…
Seung Yeol: What. My sister what. It’s her fault that mom’s gone. Dad, It was mom’s choice to give up her life. They could only save one. Why can’t you love Tae Yeon like Mom did.
Dad: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FEELS! I love taeyeon but I also love your mother. I don’t know which to choose.
Seung Yeol: You don’t have to choose! Love them both equally. Love Tae yeon while she’s here, Shes slipping Dad, She’s in more pain than you. First she has to live with the guilt, then she has to live her life knowing her father will never forgive her for something she never meant to do. Accept it dad.
Dad: This talk is over. Go to your room.
Seung Yeol: Not until you let go. I mean Dad, She’s just a child, she can’t-
Dad: I said GO!
It was the first of many times I stormed off. He never learned to accept my sister as her. And if ever he found about my little secret, im afraid he’ll lose me too.
Taeyeon: Hello. Earth to Seung Yeol. HELLOOOO!!!
Seung Yeol: Oh I’m sorry, where were we?
Taeyeon: You should really stop this whole spacing out thing. It’s freaking me, no, everyone out. Anyways back to your loveeeee liffeeee
Seung Yeol: which is nonexistent by the way.
Tae Yeon: Oh dear brother, why wont you accept the possibility that something may actually come out of your planned little confession.
Seung Yeol: And what do you know about possibilities. All you know how to do is to shut most people out; It took years for my own friends to break through your wall.
Tae Yeon: Hey! It’s not my fault im sick. And if I were you, id do it regardless of the consequences. At least you get to interact with the outside world. Stop being such a big baby!
Seung Yeol :why you little-
Eun Sang: Mistress!! Ive been looking everywhere for you! I was given concrete instructions to never let you out of my sight. Im sorry mistress, I got lost following you to the bathroom.
Tae Yeon: It’s fine. Take me home now! (storms off)
Eun Sang: Well that’s odd, she was in such a good mood a while ago. I wonder what happened.
Seung Yeol: Eun Sang, make sure she heads straight home. No more escaping to the fields.
Eun Sang: Yes Sir, will do sir.
Seung Yeol: (looks up to the sky) Mom, why’d you have to leave me like this.
The sky seems to hear me as a ray of sunlight shone through the clouds. Maybe she is there; maybe mom never left me after all. How I wish my thoughts could become reality