CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
PART TWO OF TWO
MINUTES ticked by and now the sun was setting, leaving the room covered in a dusty orange.
after changkyun's emotional breakdown, the two hadn't left the room, let alone, actually left the bed. although, they did end up moving, now laying against the pillows with a blanket draped over their bodies- changkyun stole most of the blanket. it wasn't like kihyun minded that, not a single bit, honestly. because the other's self kept him warm enough. and he was fully aware how ridiculous that all sounded, but he'd shrug it off, telling himself that it was only the truth.
at one point, changkyun's mother came home and walked into the room, about to say something, only for her words to fade out into nothing. shock and worrisome decorated her features as her gaze soaked up the items messing the floor, before turning to changkyun who was curled up to kihyun's side. she and kihyun made eye contact, the woman gave an understanding look, like she had seen the state all before. it definitely wasn't the first time it had happened, kihyun was fast to realize that. promptly, he held changkyun tighter in his arms. the woman gave one last look to kihyun, a grateful smile gracing her lips before she disappeared from the door frame.
"changkyun?"
he hummed in response.
"what happened?" he spoke quietly.
changkyun shifted in kihyun's arms, sitting up from his laying down position. the blanket slipped from his shoulders, hair ruffled in different directions, the light from the hallway lit up the navy-blue, almost making it glow.
he still looked absolutely beautiful in kihyun's eyes.
but only if that peaceful moment could have lasted forever.
changkyun blinked his eyes a few times, before slowly breathing out: "i wanted it all to stop."
"wh-what?"
kihyun sat up, too, gently placing a hand on top the boy's. even in the dimmed room, he could see the tears that were swelling up in his eyes, close to spilling all the built up sadness over his cheeks once more. he brought changkyun back down to the bed, letting him lay in his arms, and encouraged him to continue talking.
"it's so hard," changkyun lifted his head up, looking somewhere past kihyun. "not being able to see. i feel like i'm just burdening everyone with this problem." lips turned down into a frown, "sometimes i don't feel like i'm myself anymore. sometimes i just want to leave this place for good. b-but, then..."
"but then?"
"i think of you," his lips twisted into a small smile. "with you, i do feel like myself. you actually make me feel normal."
kihyun's heart ached.
"but i'm scared, you know?" he turned his head away. "i'm scared that i'm wasting your time."
"you're not," kihyun shook his head vigorously, tears beginning to blur his sight. he could only wish he wasn't afraid of telling changkyun how much he really meant to him. "you're not wasting anyone's time. definitely not mine."
changkyun didn't say anything, making kihyun wonder if he believed him.
maybe, his voice didn't sound sincere, genuine, enough. or maybe, changkyun could hear it all; how kihyun stuttered and stammered over the words, lisp becoming more prominent as they left his mouth so urgently because i really, really want him to know.
"i want you to know that you mean something to me."
kihyun shut his mouth, eyes widened as he didn't mean to say his thoughts out loud.
"really?" changkyun asked.
"yes," he spoke after awhile. "just know i'm here for you, alright? i'm not going anywhere. we will get through this."
"we?" his fingers subconsciously tapped on kihyun's chest.
"yes, we," kihyun smiled.
the corner of changkyun's mouth curved upwards, as well, until a wide smile replaced all the negativity that seemed to have drowned him for a moment back there. out the corner of kihyun's vision, he could see how changkyun's cheeks were painted in a deep rose, but it wasn't from feeling overwhelmed by tears, it was something else; something pure and innocent.
"i like the sound of that," he replied, the smile stayed on his face for longer.
another hour passed by too suddenly for both of them, yet, they still laid in the warm bed, conversing about different types of topics. they started with their favourite childhood memories, then talked about how global warming needed to be taken more seriously, all the way to ice skating. changkyun said he wanted to teach kihyun again because, apparently, last time was 'fun'. which caused the dark haired male to surreptitiously cover his cheeks as he blushed.
changkyun wouldn't have known. he couldn't see when kihyun's cheeks tinted in pink, or when he grinned so wide it felt like his face might crack.
but kihyun also felt like he knew. it was one of the many explanations he could think of- it was really the only one. as if changkyun knew what to say, what to do, to make kihyun feel that way. the simple way he'd inch closer to him in bed, lean his head against his shoulder. or the way he'd let his eyes unknowingly rest on his face, seemingly to read his thoughts, discover his feelings. of course, he couldn't actually do that. kihyun probably watched too much daytime television. though, there was still a feeling inside of him that said maybe.
because, maybe, there was a chance for them.
changkyun stretched out his arms, letting out an extremely cute yawn noise, while kihyun watched in amusement.
"what time is it?" he asked, voice showed how exhausted he was.
kihyun searched for his phone laying next to him. "it's eight thirty-two," he replied, locking the phone after.
"don't you have work soon?"
"sh-" kihyun dragged out the sound, bringing his hand up to drag his fingers through his hair. "wait. wait. i don't have work on tonight."
changkyun giggled, moving his head to the crook of kihyun's neck before he murmured something incomprehensible. it probably wouldn't have mattered what he said, because kihyun could only hear his heart racing in his chest. way too fast. way too loud. changkyun most likely heard it, too, considering he was laying so close. kihyun liked to think that it could've been possible that the boy's heart was beating like his- that his skin tingled from all the soft, delicate touches shared between them. it was always extremely gentle, achingly so. then again, kihyun wouldn't want it any other way. he only wanted changkyun next to him; holding him like that.
when the stars scattered across the dark sky, kihyun sighed.
"i think i should go home now."
"okay," changkyun's voice muffled by kihyun's chest. the boy sat up, giving space for him to leave.
"i'll see you later?"
changkyun's hands moved down, actions almost in slow motion. it looked like they wanted to reach out for kihyun, hold him in his arms for a tiny bit longer, but they stopped at the hem of the blanket. all he did was nod, saying a quick drive safely, at the same time his lips curved up in the way that made kihyun's insides turn to static.
then kihyun left, wishing changkyun would've stopped him.
