Virgin Sex Ain't No Orgy

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Cue the typical virgin nerd hooking up with the jock. For some reason, despite the virgin having no sex experience, it's always passionate and includes like ten orgasms. Why doesn't the jock every become disillusioned, thinking it'd be better than it was? This is why I think, especially if you're writing a first-time experience and the actually experienced guy/girl involved acknowledges this and understands it, it would be much more...

Innocent. 

Everyone knows that when reading a sex scene, the build-up is the best part. You know, when she's running her hands through his hair and he's rasping, "I need you." The actual sex part, though, can be quick and undetailed if you have a good buildup, and let's be real, it's probably going to be a quickie if they're a virgin. 

Here is an example from a book called Saving Max. After the initial buildup, it simply reads, "As if he can wait no longer, she feels the thrust of him inside her as she clings to him, moving in time to the ancient dance, a single pulse. At the moment of release, she rises- hips, mouth, arms, thighs- to meet his arching abandon with a fierce climax of her own."

And it's over. It wasn't graphic, cringy, or gross. But it started with a sweet relationship.

So, now let's talk about how to create that sweet relationship for our virgin nerd characters.

First, you have to establish a sweet romance. The guy can't just lust after her because she's hot, and she can't just dig him because he's got sweet abs. There has to be more, especially because he/she is lacking in the Bedroom Magic department. He has to love the way the scar on her cheek from falling off her bike as a kid puckers when she laughs. 

She has to appreciate how gentle he is around her, always touching her in some way, whether it's placing his hand on her thigh in a movie or touching the small of her back when he senses she's nervous. They can't just go at it like animals because one of them doesn't know how to. They have to prove to each other how much they genuinely care for the other's well-being. 

Think about your characters: would they still love each other if they couldn't have sex even once?

If the answer is yes, then you're doing great!

Now, ask yourself this: why do they want to have sex? This is a good question, even though many of you may be scoffing and saying, "Duh, they're in love."

I'm saying, "Dude, having sex doesn't mean anyone is in love."

Make sure your virgin characters aren't having sex five minutes after meeting. Don't let their motives be shallow and superficial, i.e. the guy wants to have sex because she's hot and she turns him on, just like the other five girls he's "had fun" with. Most often, people who haven't had sex still romanticize it, and they'll want it to be special. 

They need to have mutual respect/friendship, which develops into love, which in turn leads to physical contact in cute situations and eventually sex. It should go in this order: friendship, love, touching, sex. Not this order: physical attraction, sex. 

Now, let's examine how to write sweet, virgin sex.

Don't describe graphic details. Duh. Instead, make him notice sweet things about her. Maybe when she had hip surgery, it left huge scars on her hip. When he runs his fingers lovingly over them, pulling her onto his lap, it makes him feel protective, determined not to let her get hurt again. This can translate into his desire to be gentle when they do have sex, more worried about her well-being than having a good time. 

Think about cute ways people touch each other when they're in love, rather than rough groping and ripping each other's clothes off harshly.

Drag out the buildup for as long as possible, and then write a short, somewhat vague actual-sex scene, where they actually do the do. In the example from Saving Max, the author describes it as an "ancient dance." That sounds romantic and, well, sweet. 

Here's another example: 

"He kissed her gently, running his hands though her hair as she began to lay back on the bed, her hair falling in a halo around her face. 'Are you sure you want to do this with me?' He asked, his quiet voice uncertain. She nodded, swallowing her nerves. Gripping the back of his neck, she guided his head down until their lips touched. His hands moved up her chest, hesitant, as he tested the waters. When she didn't flinch away, his touch became more confident, and he felt the rough lace of her bra beneath his fingers. 

She pulled back slightly, and he could feel her soft breath on his lips when she whispered, 'Why do you love me?' Her innocent face was shadowed with self-doubt, and it agonized him to think that she questioned his feelings for her.

He smiled sadly, pecking her lips. 'Because you always loved me, even when I didn't deserve it.'

She pulled back further, staring up at him with a sad expression and running her thumb absentmindedly across the pucker in his eyebrow where he sometimes wore a piercing. "What's wrong?" He whispered, eyebrows furrowing.

"Absolutely nothing," she replied, planting a firm kiss on his lips. He smiled into her lips, allowing her to hesitantly tug at his shirt and eventually pull it over his head. His heart pounded, desire threatening to take over, but he was determined to go slow. Taking a deep breath, he let it out carefully, controlling himself. She stared at his chest, placing her trembling hand on it gently as her nerves returned. He kissed her cheek, taking her hands lightly in his and placing them flat on his chest. 'It's just me,' he whispered, his breath light on her cheek. 'Don't be scared.'

She nodded, and the heat began to build as he gripped her thighs in a way that made her feel lightheaded. Soon, they were kissing desperately, their clothes in heaps on the floor. When he entered her, she felt complete, their bodies moving as one. As they climaxed, her breath hitched as her back arched, his hands threading into her hair as her body exploded with incredible sensations. Both out of breath, she smiled blissfully as he pulled her into his arms, nestling her head in the crook of his neck. Inhaling the scent of his skin, she felt him lace his fingers with hers as he mumbled, 'I love you, Lex.'

'I love you, too,' she replied, her eyes drifting shut,"

See? Not overly graphic. He clearly cared about her, and she him. It wasn't a purely physical relationship; you could see that they'd invested deeply in each other. 

And there you go, one sweet sex scene with an extra helping of sweet.

Hope this chapter was helpful! 

Comment down below for any chapter suggestions! 

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