He's not my dad

Chapter 39

Life was perfect, I was enjoying traveling around America with the band. We were all so close, we had to be we spent that much time together. There had been more arguments and fights, more than I could even count. We had all been in fights even I had ended up with busted lip when I had fought with Anthony's new girlfriend Jo. I don't even remember what started the fight, we had just lunged at each other and ended up rolling on the floor throwing punches.

Our first album had been really successful it was briefly number one in the charts but it had been in the top ten ever since it was was dropped.

Chuck and I had been together 6 months and were still going strong, he still hadn't spoken to his dad. That was about to change as it was his grandparents 60th anniversary and they were throwing a party to celebrate.

"Tay, you have to come. My family love you". Chuck complained.

"Some too much" I whispered under my breath.

"Huh"

"I said I don't want there to be an atmosphere, I don't want my being there to ruin their big night". Chuck had been trying to convince me to go with him since he had the invite. I had declined each time, I loved his grandparents but I didn't want to face Greg.

"Babe, I'll make it worth your while." He sat behind me on the bed and playfully groped my boobs.

"Oh yeah how"

"I'll fuck your brains out"

I pretended to consider it, "you do that anyway, what else are you offering.

Chuck tapped his finger on his chin "a new purse"

"Keep talking"

"I'll do the dishes for the next month"

I turned back at him and smiled "were living out of hotel rooms there are no dishes."

"Your so difficult to please, I have it"

I narrowed my eyes "you don't have it"

"I'll let you have the left hand side of the bed"

"Ooh, deal"

He put his hand out and shook mine.

"What time tomorrow " I asked.

"8, I'm going to sleep now babe" chuck said before he slipped into the left hand side of the bed.

"Erm excuse me"

"It's my spot until after the party" he said settling into the bed.

I knew I wouldn't get my promised spot, I didn't want to go to the party but chuck had mentioned it continuously so it was obviously important to him that I went. I was a sucker for love.

"When do we leave again" I asked as snugged into him.

"We have the award show next Wednesday. Then a gig in LA Friday and some interviews I think"

We had only been home for 2 days and we were already having to think about packing our bags again. The amount of travel being part of the band was exciting at first but now I missed home. We had been all over America and had even been to England for a few weeks. We had spent less than 3 weeks in total in our own home since we had recorded our first single.

"Were performing " I asked.

"Yeah , that's what we've been rehearsing for the last week Tay"

My mind wasn't being challenged on the road so I was starting to feel dumb. It was like I was losing my mind, I was forgetting things that happened only the day before. It was probably due to the amount of alcohol I was drinking in all honestly. Life was a party, we would drink every day when we were in the road.

I had decided that I wasn't going to drink for the week that we were home. I was starting to break out in spots and I was sure that my liver was crying out for a break. Since returning home I had been going to the gym everyday and eating organic as it wasn't easy to eat healthy meals when you we're constantly on the road.

I had put on a stone since we had started travelling and I didn't like it. It was partly due to the alcohol but mostly caused by the amount of fast food I was scoffing. I wasn't looking after myself, I was just being one of the guys I had even stopped spending as much time on my appearance.

"I'm going to go to the salon tomorrow"

"What for" chuck was seconds from falling asleep so I doubt he was actually paying attention.

"I need to be me, I need to make a change" I said to myself.

I had seen unflattering photos of myself posted on a gossip site and I didn't recognise myself. I was like a ghost of my old self, my hair looked dull and limp and my skin was a train wreck. Even my clothes were dishevelled and lacked my unique style. I missed my life before the band, I wanted to actually use my brain for something other than remembering the lyrics of our songs.

I had lost my own identity, I had lost what made me who I was. I wanted my life back, I needed to do more things with my spare time that made me happy.

I had always been so ambitious , I was a hard worker who always wanted to achieve better. Becoming a part of a successful band had just dropped on my lap, I hadn't had to work for it. I had just settled.

I vowed that I was going to be the best me I could.