What the Tide Brings

Chapter 20 - Liam - Complicated

Liam felt bad about what happened. It was a mistake to question Kaelin's feelings for him. How the hell would he know if she loved him? What did he even know about love? Sex, he understood. That was simple. But love? Love was complicated. It was messy and confusing.

After a twenty minute shower, during which he did nothing more than stand under the water stream, thinking, until the temperature of the water turned glacial, and he had to frantically scrub his body and hair, shivering all the while—his teeth were still chattering as he wrapped a towel around his waist and hurried to his room to get dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved gray henley—he went downstairs to sit in Grandfather's favorite armchair, to soak up the warmth of the sun streaming through the large window that looked out onto the dunes.

The leather chair smelled faintly of the cigars that the old man used to smoke. Before Liam's mother made him quit, by laying a guilt trip on him, when her mother passed away, shortly after Liam was born. It worked, to a degree. Grandfather still snuck out for a few puffs every now and then. Mrs. Bainbridge was unaware, or perhaps she just pretended to be.

Thinking about Grandfather made Liam consider what advice he would give in this situation. It didn't take long to come up with the answer. James Culver was a no-nonsense, straight shooter. Liam could practically hear Grandfather's raspy, smoker's voice in his mind, saying, "Get off your ass, son. Be a man. You did something stupid, now apologize."

Liam pushed himself up from the chair and went to the stairs, taking them two at a time. At the top, the the anxiety began to set in. He wondered if she would forgive him.

The ten feet from the top step to her door might as well have been ten thousand feet for all he was concerned. Actually, ten thousand might be preferable. That way he would have more time to find the perfect words; just the right thing to make it all better.

Finally, he mustered the courage to make the short journey. If it wasn't for the creaky floorboard outside her door, he might not have been able to knock. He both cursed and thanked that floorboard for pushing him the last step.

"I am not feeling up to visitors at the moment." Kaelin's voice was muffled by the two inches of wood between them. Even so, Liam could hear her distress. He hated that he was the cause of it.

"I'm sorry." He placed his hand against the smooth surface of the door. "I was an asshole."

There was a long moment before she spoke. "I do not understand what that means."

Liam sighed. "It means I was a dick, a douche, a jackass. Take your pick."

When she didn't respond, he thought she still might not understand, so he tried to think of some other—older—way to describe it: "A cad, a heel, a louse, a scoundrel." Finally, he just decided to be as concise as possible. "I was mean, basically is what I'm saying. Mean and dumb."

The door opened a crack to reveal half of her face. One of her big blue eyes peered out at him. What he could see of her expression was softer than he had anticipated. "Yes, you were. You hurt my feelings."

"I know. I was wrong." He leaned his head against the doorjamb, just an inch away from hers. He hoped his face showed the remorse he felt. "I am so sorry."

She opened the door wide and stepped forward to press her back against the other side of the frame. She had gotten dressed since he saw her earlier, wearing pink shorts and a button down. A few too many of the buttons had been left undone, exposing enough skin that he could see she wasn't wearing the bra his mother had encouraged her to get. He knew she didn't like wearing it in the first place—calling it a "horrible constricting garment," claiming it "smushed" her chest. The shirt was one of Liam's old ones that he'd outgrown, and the shorts came from the shopping trip his mother took her on a few days ago. "I accept your apology."