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chanyeol has long since left your office but you could still feel him on the back of your neck.

you could still hear his voice and you hated it.

pinching your leg you had managed to keep as professional as possible, not crying, not judging based off of the past.

but now you were alone, left with this mess on your face just to keep him happy and you hated every second of it. at the same time however you wouldn't take it off.

some part of you decided that you deserved it, that somehow this all came back to being your fault. if you were prettier this wouldn't have happened, if you were really a good employee things like this shouldn't effect you, if only...

"no..no more what ifs." you stood and walked out of your office and to the bathroom, the smell on sanitary wipes and lily replaces the suffocating air. leaning over the counter with your bag of "gifts" you washed it all off.

but you didn't stop. now you stood, glaring at your reflection with reddening eyes."do better rita," you ordered yourself.

"it's all your fault that all of this is happening, you wouldn't have lost namjoon if you maybe put some effort into your appearance..and we wouldn't even be dealing with him if you had listened when chanyeol told you the same thing years ago..you shouldn't have to be going through any of this headache but you didn't listen and now it's all your fault!"

you waited, lips shaking while watching your reflection; she didn't answer.

"answer me!" you slammed your hands on the counter, bowing your head, nose starting to run. slowly you sunk to the floor, hugging your knees.

you sat this way for who knows how long before you reached your calm after the storm.
"do better..I expect so much more from you–stop crying so much and focus on being better."

you mumbled and stood, careful to take out each makeup product and repaint your face.

this time you didn't shy away from the concealer.

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