A Touch of Poison

Chapter 21

The two of them remained frozen in place – he by the door with his forehead pressed against it, she still standing by the bed, torn between rushing over to him, and getting as far away from him as she could. Gwen felt like she was being pushed and pulled in several directions at once.

Her gaze never left him, not for a single moment.

There was a long, uncomfortable stretch of silence.

Gavin sighed.

"This is really awkward," he said, finally, turning and giving her a look that was both apologetic and distressed. "Look, I know this isn't exactly something you were hoping would happen, and it's probably not what you wanted at all. You don't really want someone like me, and I understand that."

Oh, how unbelievably wrong he was. Gwen fought to remain standing where she was, holding herself as still as possible.

"I'm not even a very good prince, really," he continued, running his fingers through his hair in a way that seemed self-conscious. "And I... look, a girl like you could do so much better than this. I know that. You probably wish I wasn't even here right now. It's okay, you can tell me. Just saying it might make you feel a little better, to be honest."

He stood up a little straighter and looked at her expectantly for a moment, as though waiting for her to say something.

Still unable to make a sound, Gwen could think of little to do but force herself to refrain from throwing herself across the room at him, something that seemed to require more effort as time passed.

Gavin sighed once more and looked back to the door.

"Let's just talk, okay? I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want. Really, I mean it. Nobody should be forced to do something they don't want." His expression hardened. "All this supposed power we have, and yet we're powerless to change things. Slaves to what is required of us, or what is necessary. Game pieces moved around a board, like we're commodities, no matter whose lives end up getting ruined in the process."

The way he said those particular words caused a memory to bubble to the surface of Gwen's thoughts.

Gavin had a girlfriend.

Jealousy stabbed at her heart like a white-hot sword being driven clear through her chest. She discovered she hated this unknown, faceless girl, and with a ferocity that frightened her. Part of her was already frantically making plans, coming up with ideas regarding how she would find this girl, and what she'd do to her for daring to put herself between Gwen and this man, her husband! Why, she'd–

Gwen shut her eyes and took a deep breath, forcing her thoughts to quiet. It was like these feelings were coming out of nowhere now, like she was suddenly forced to feel things that didn't even belong to her!

"I'm probably ruining things for you, all of the dreams you had. You can tell me so," he continued. "I don't mind, really. You probably wish I'd just go away, or something, and that's fine. I'll understand. It's good to say these things. Just tell me that's what you wish. That I was someplace far, far away."

These things he said weren't helping at all! She desperately wanted to tell him – to show him – how wonderful he was. It was like his gentle, self-depreciating words were somehow making him even more perfect in her eyes, despite his protestations.

"It's just that someone like you shouldn't have to do anything like this, or settle for someone like me. You're incredible! Goddess, when I saw you in that field, squaring off against that monster of a dire wolf, I just... wow. I've never seen courage like that before – never met anyone who didn't run at the sight of one of those things. And you faced it down with nothing more than a couple of rocks! You're amazing, Gwenwyn, not to mention beautiful, and it's not...." Gavin closed his eyes and sighed once more. "You deserve so much better than this. Better than me, anyway."