I've heard that our willingness to wait for something reveals the value we place on what we're waiting for. Being young you chase lust, which results in not thinking before making decisions. I've made A LOT of decisions based on lust & didn't think twice about it. But when it comes to him, I use my head more than my heart & my heart more than my sexual desires. Apart of me wants him to be this douche bag who really doesn't like black women, but I know he's not. I know he's changing, but apart of me is scared because I like the person he's becoming...for me & because of me? The wall I built up to protect myself from him is standing strong, but I don't know if I want it to.
I post the update to my blog locking my phone dropping it in my lap. It's been awhile since I posted anything. I just haven't been keeping up with it. It was seeming like everything in my life was piling on top of each other. I sit in the nail salon with Nubia waiting on my toes to dry a little more. I look over at Nubia who is deep into her phone...
I wanted to tell her something to get her advice, but apart of me wanted to keep it to myself. "Nubia," I say to get her attention. She looks up humming a hmm as she gives me her attention. "Sooo, I saw Brayden last night," I finally say as she arches her brow.
"What happened?" Nubia asks looking at me knowing a story's about to come. She leans in now eagerly waiting for what I'm going to say next.
"Things happened," I say very vaguely.
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The God Complex || GoldlinkGeneral Fiction
D'Anthony Carlos has skated through life always being protected. When you're related to the biggest drug cartel in the DMV you gotta be protected. When all of your uncles are the most feared and respected you automatically garner the same attention...