Another Star

I originally posted this on my Mibba account, but I wanted to share it here too. xxx K.

Today should’ve been the best day of her life, but all Kayleigh could do was wish the day was over.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” she thinks to herself, slowly sliding on the dress she’d dyed black even though she’d been hoping to wear for a different reason. “This shouldn’t be happening.”

Kayleigh looks at herself in the mirror and barely recognises herself. Her once curvy frame is now nothing but skin and bones; her long, wavy, shiny, black hair now limp and dull. But what scares her most is her eyes, once full of spark and hope, now grey and empty, all hope gone.

“I can't keep on like this,” she tells her reflection. “But I can't bare to let myself change … I don't wanna change … I don't wanna change … I shouldn't have to … I shouldn't even be in this situation ...”

Kayleigh punches the mirror, and watches the pieces fall to the floor at her feet.

“THIS SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!”

There's a knock at the door.

“Kayleigh? You okay?”

“NO! I'LL NEVER BE OKAY!”

Kayleigh sinks to her knees, her body shaking with silent sobs, as her tears flow freely, dripping onto the glass around her.

“It should've been me! I should've gone instead!”

The lock on the door clicks and opens. The door opens and Kayleigh soon finds herself wrapped in the strong arms of her brother.

“You know he never would've let you go. He hated the thought of you being out after dark. He wouldn't have let you go no matter how much you'd have yelled at him,” her brother reasoned.

“I don't care Matt, it should've been me! I was the one who wanted the fucking ice cream so I should've been the one to go. He shouldn't have gone out! If he hadn't he'd still be here. He wouldn't have crashed the fucking car. He'd be here with me and we'd be getting married today!”

Matt sighs, he knows that no matter what he tells her, Kayleigh won't believe him.

“Why did it happen? Why did he have to die Matt? Why did he have to leave me?”

“I wish I knew Kay, I really do.”

Kayleigh curls into Matt's arms, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I don't wanna say goodbye,” she sniffs.

“Then don't,” soothes Matt. “Just think of it as a 'see you later' until you feel ready to let him go.”

“But what if I'm never ready to let him go?”

“Then you're never ready. You can't force yourself to do anything Kay. He was the biggest part of your life for so long. I don't think anyone would judge you for wanting to stay loyal to him.”

Kayleigh wipes her eyes and looks up at her brother.

“When did you get so smart?” she says, a slight smile crossing her lips.

“I've always been smart, I just like to keep it hidden,” smiles Matt.

“Well keep it hidden. It's scary to think you can be smart,” chuckles Kayleigh lightly.

Matt can't help but smile a little wider after seeing his heartbroken sister smile for the first time in almost a month.

The smiles soon fade as there's a knock on the door.