The Disconnected.

Chapter 3:

It's hard to believe it's really happening but today Craig is moving away from Crownwood to to pursue a life without structure or order. I need structure and order. I don't think I could live any closer to being like an animal. I often compare humans to animals in my mind. I think of apartment buildings as hives of humans similar to bees nests.

  After I wake up I feed my rumble fish. He's a Chinese fighting fish named Motorcycle Boy. Motorcycle Boy is three months old today. I'm not sure how long rumble fish live for but I hope it's a long time because I really enjoy his company. I find myself staring into his tiny aquarium for hours while I daydream about a life I don't live. When I daydream my mom has won the lottery or something significant that changes our quality of life has happened. I know that you need to work for good things to happen in your life and the odds of a miracle like that happening are statistically impossible but it's nice to escape into a fantasy for a while.

After Motorcycle Boy eats it's time to go have my morning smoke on the porch and walk to O'Leary's for my morning Pepsi and pack of king size cigarettes but I have to be quick because I'm helping Craig pack before he goes.

Not long after I walk out onto the porch the church bells begin to chime. Eight chimes and as I take my second or third drag from my cigarette Craig pulls in.

"GET IN! You can smoke in the van." Craig yells.

"Nice van.." I say but I explain to him that this is entirely to early for me to help. I continue explaining while I get in the van and while we're driving down the street towards his house. Craig is persuasive like that. You don't want to do something but before you've finished talking your way out of it you've already finished.

"I'll give you a pack of cigarettes for helping and there's Pepsi at my house." Craig explained.

  I still felt distressed. I didn't like anything to disrupt my routine. Sometimes I wonder if I'm addicted to Pepsi or the walk, greeting Peanuts and hauling hard on my first cigarette from the new pack.

When we get to Craigs our friend Byron is already waiting on his porch smoking a clint. Clint is what us guys call a cigarette for the most part. I'm not sure why. My friend Dexter coined the phrase and it just stuck. I always thought it was named after Clint Eastwood and how he looked rugged and tough while smoking back when smoking was cool and socially acceptable.

  Packing for Craig wasn't exactly what I expected at all. I've helped people move before and we boxed things up, wrapped things in plastic wrap and marked them as fragile but packing for Craig was more like cleaning out a loved ones apartment after they'd passed. It reminded me of when my grandmother died. You're basically free to take whatever you'd like that wasn't listed in the will and the rest of it will go to the city dump. An entire lifetime goes to the dump.

  It was really hard work. He owned furniture that was made of solid oak that neither Byron nor I wanted so we destroyed it with an axe. We bagged up over sixteen bags of assorted odds and ends to throw away. The only thing that Craig packed in his van were his clothes and a few living essentials such as a can opener and shampoo.

At the end of the day Craig asked us if we wanted any of his things before it was thrown out and I chose to take his bicycle. I've always wanted a bicycle. I want to ride one to my Aunt Cathy's house on a nice spring day. Her house is over 45 minutes away by car so I imagine it will take the entire day to do ride a bicycle there and back.

When Craig dropped me off we shook hands and he thanked me. I smiled, which I never tend to do. I felt sick to my stomach knowing I'd never see him again.

"Have a great trip! I'll miss you buddy." I yelled as he pulled out of my driveway.

The rest of the day things felt the same. It felt like an ordinary day. I walked into my bedroom and read a little bit while casually glancing at Motorcycle Boy until I fell asleep at six in the evening. It was a lot of hard work throwing away someone's entire life so I couldn't blame myself for passing out early without eating dinner.

I woke up at eight in the morning. I'd slept nearly fourteen hours. I'm starving, but I have to feed Motorcycle Boy first. He eats little dried out bugs I got from the pet food store. Just a pinch in the morning and I think it's absolutely disgusting to touch them.

  I grab a banana from the fridge. I love fruit.  I mostly only eat fruit. I'd be a vegetarian but I don't like vegetables and I love hot dogs. I could be a competitive hot dog eater and I've thought about entering to compete at the county fair. I don't even care if I win. I just want a chance to eat potentially endless hotdogs for five minutes straight.

I walk outside to have my morning smoke and it suddenly hits me in a gut wrenching onset of anxiety that I'll never see Craig again. I can feel my knees start to buckle, my vision goes blurry, my chest hurts and I might vomit. I think for a second that I'm having a heart attack but after my cigarette is lit I realize that I'm just sad. I didn't think I'd take it so hard that he was leaving but I really fear change. He'll never pull into my driveway early in the morning again.

I start my walk down to O'Leary's to get my morning Pepsi and distract me from life for a moment. A little return back into the usual routine and I start to think about how I have no shortage of friends. I walk passed Dexter's house, Byron's house and old Marie's house on my way to O'Leary's general store but none of them are Craig.

When I finally arrive at O'Leary's the door to the old building is locked and a note on the door reads:

     "Dear valued customers we regret to inform you that we will be closed for the next few days due to a death in the family. We appreciate your patience during this difficult time.

Love,
The Shultz family."

I wonder who died. I'd only ever seen Peanuts and his daughter Ashley behind the counter at O'Leary's and his wife had already passed away. I didn't know them well enough to know of any extended family and I feel I should know them better considering I see Peanuts every single morning in the general store.

I could go to another general store for my morning Pepsi but I couldn't buy my cigarettes anywhere else so there's no point. I might as well go without both of my bad habits for a day. It wouldn't be the same without seeing Peanuts anyways.