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Pen Your Pride

 Cassandra Mc’Connell 

Closing the door gently, I heaved a relived breath. I’d gotten home in the nick of time. My mom didn’t know about my journey into town, for all she knew – I’d been home all day.

I climbed into bed, ready to act as if I’d been in the whole night, shortly after I heard the front door close and footsteps pad towards my door. “You feeling better baby?” My mom appeared, leaning on the door frame. As she had just returned, she stood in her work clothes.

“No mom.” I lied, even though the vomiting had pretty much stopped. I felt numb. “I don’t want to go in tomorrow, I feel nauseous all the time.” I thanked my lucky stars that I had my back to her; there was nothing worse than lying to your mother’s face.

Worried, she walked over placing a hand on my forehead. “Well you’re not running a temperature but we’ll leave it another day, maybe you need to be checked out.”

I nodded, turning away from her again. I was okay as long as I didn’t have to face school; there was no way I could do it. I couldn’t take seeing him every day, knowing he hated me. Being Andre, he’d move on in the blink of an eye and live his life. He’d go back to the tons of other girls dying to have him and I’d be the sad little girl that didn’t have it in her to move on. No, that would hurt too much, staying at home was best.

‘We’re done.’ I winced, remembering his icy words. My mother left and I waited until I heard the familiar creep of her going into her own bedroom then I called Kelly.

“Cass?” She answered on the second ring.

“Yeah.” I mumbled.

“Hey, feeling better now?” Kelly said, sleep laced her words. By now, it was late. Kelly believed a lot in early night’s for beauty sleep.

“Yeah.” I said uncertain that she would like what I was about to say.

“Good, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She hinted.

“Erm,” I faltered. “I’m not gonna be in.”

“I thought you said you were better?” She accused, now more alert.

“Yeah but,” I sighed. “I can’t explain.”

“Cass,” She said patiently. “You can’t keep running away from your problems.” She was onto me in a second. Kelly had an acute sense for reading people.

“I know that, but I’m doing what I think’s best for me.” I heard her begin to talk but butted in. “And I know that’s selfish of me, but I can’t face it Kells’ I really can’t.” I heard her grunt, she didn’t approve but she understood. I stared up at my shadowy ceiling. “I went to see him you know.”


“Andre.” I said.

“Oh, honey.” Kelly’s tone had changed, she was now sympathetic. “How’d it go?”

“He hates me.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t Cass, I’ve never seen a guy so head-over-heels in a relationship.”

“Kelly, stop.” I said, I didn’t need someone to put any more delusional ideas into my head. I wasn’t a Disney princess. “He said we’re done.” A sob escaped my lips. I guess that was the real reason I’d called, I needed someone to talk to. Being alone was lonely.

“He did what?” She practically screeched. I could hear her anger, “Why that little–”

“Kelly, don’t freak about it.” I pleaded; I could already tell she was scheming. “I can’t change the way he feels now. I’ve tried.” And failed.

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