20 - In His Arms

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"That was intense," I muttered, staring down at the ground as we walked.

Forrest exhaled noisily. "I know. I was hoping to cheer him up, but now, I feel like I didn't do a very good job."

"Are you kidding?" I turned to gawk at him. "Did you see how grateful he looked when you gave him the money?"

He frowned. "Thirty dollars won't last."

"But the memory will," I pointed out, softly, "Come on, he's never going to forget today. What you did is something not everyone does."

Forrest craned his head back, looking up at the sky. "I just wish I could give him something more. Is thirty dollars really going to help? I keep thinking that for today, he'll be okay, but what about tomorrow? What's going to happen? He'll be back to being penniless."

I came to a halt and grabbed a hold of his arm, making him look at me. "Hey," I said, trying to sound firm, "I understand where you're coming from - I do. But you cannot beat yourself up over this. You didn't just give him money. You gave him your time and a conversation and generosity. And yeah, it makes me sad to think about what's - most likely - going to happen to him, but it's out of our control. Stop feeling so guilty because you didn't even do anything wrong."

Forrest stayed still, absorbing everything I said. "I'm sorry," he finally said, which made me want to groan and laugh at the same time. Quickly realizing, he added, "Wait. No. I take that back. I just . . . I don't know. It's so unfair."

"I know," I let my hand drop, "But since when is anything in life ever fair?" I turned to keep walking. "Now, let's go."

"Hold on," I felt something land on my shoulder, "I have a question."

"Yeah?" I raised both brows, waiting. "What is it?"

Forrest didn't hesitate. "Do you have anything against hugs?"

I squinted at him, skeptical. "Well, what if I say I do?"

"In that case, too bad." Before I could realize what was happening, Forrest took me in his arms. Instinctively, my body stiffened, but seconds into the embrace, I melted. From where I was, if I leaned in just a little, I would be able to hear his throbbing heart. Instead, I closed my eyes, all the noise around us dissolving. I inhaled the moment, my mind slowing down. I felt calm. Safe. Vulnerable.

I didn't want it to end.

"June?"

"Hm?" I couldn't even manage to form a word. I felt like I was in a dream.

"Do you know how to hug? Because I think you're supposed to wrap your arms around me or something."

I cracked a smile at that. I didn't even realize that my arms were still at my sides. Slowly, carefully, I lifted them to his waist. "Is this good enough for you?" I muttered.

"Yeah." The word came out quiet.

"So," I finally opened my eyes, "how long are we going to do this?"

Forrest took his time replying. "When both of us are ready to let go."

So . . . never.


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