63 • not your fault

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Blake's POV:

After taking Alex home, I needed some time to process the last couple of hours – so I went for a drive. It probably seemed like I didn't care about the miscarriage since I didn't say anything when we left the hospital, but that wasn't the case. Even though she constantly denied it, I was excited about her being pregnant. Now that she wasn't, I didn't know how to feel.

I drove around for about an hour and a half before deciding to go back to the house. I walked inside, slowly closing the door behind me; and the smell of something baking hit me instantly. I knew Alex turned into a baking mess when she was happy, upset, or even bored; but I was hoping it was her mom or sister instead of her. But of course when I walked in the kitchen, there she was – hobbling around with one crutch under her arm as she attempted to take a cake out of the oven. Mrs. Simmons & Aubrianna just sat at the counter shaking their heads as they watched her.

"There you are," Mrs. Simmons announced, shifting everyone's attention to me. "We were worried about you."

"Sorry. I needed to clear my head." I kept my eyes on Alex, and she held my gaze for a couple seconds before she looked down at the ground. "What are you doing?"

"I got bored and wanted to bake something. Plus, I'm tired of lying around and 'resting,'" she whined.

I shook my head and chuckled because for some reason she had a hard time staying still for long periods of time.

"Now, all of y'all need to get out," she said clapping her hands together. "I'm about to put this cake in the oven, and y'all know I don't like people in my kitchen.

Her mom & sister both rolled their eyes jokingly, and they left the kitchen. She put her cake in the oven, then I picked her up and carried her to the living room. I sat her down on the couch and put two pillows on the table so she could prop her leg up.

"Mama, AB... I need to talk to Blake for a minute. Can y'all –" Before Alex could finish her sentence, Mrs. Simmons & Aubrianna walked out of the living room. Aubrianna stomped her feet a couple times, and Alex snapped her head in her direction. "Quit stompin' yo heavy ass feet while​ my cake is in the oven!"

I heard Aubrianna laughing, and I laughed as well. I enjoyed watching Alex​ interact with her family, especially her siblings. When she was around them, she was a different person – but in a good way.

"Are you mad at me?" Alex asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I looked at her with my eyebrows furrowed. "No. Why do you think I'm mad?"

She shrugged. "You knew I was pregnant, but I didn't wanna believe you; and now...now our baby is gone because I was being dumb." She paused for a second and rubbed her eye. "I wouldn't​ blame you if you were mad. I am."

I put my arm around her and she laid her head on my chest. "Babe, listen to me – I am not mad at you. I could never get mad at you for something you have no control over. Even if you did go to the doctor like I suggested, this still could've happened. You have to stop blaming yourself."

I heard her sniffle a couple times, so I kissed the top of her head. I knew I could've easily been mad at her for not listening to me and blame her, but it wouldn't help anything – especially since she's already going through so much. Besides, it's not like she intentionally lost the baby.

While I aimlessly​ stared at the TV, my phone began to ring. Seeing that it was Officer Holmes, I answered almost immediately. Yesterday when the police went to Brynn's house, she wasn't there. Since she knew I was going to the police, I assumed she ran. I just hoped he was calling with good news.

"Please tell me you have good news for me," I said into the phone, and Alex picked her head up to look at me.

He chuckled lowly. "We found her."

I let out a sigh of relief as I listened to him talk about what would happen next. Alex urged me to tell what was going on, but I just laughed and told her to be patient.

"Thank you, Officer."

"Just doing my job. I'll be in touch."

I hung up, tossing my phone on the couch. Alex grabbed my face and looked into my eyes, searching for something.

"Don't keep me waiting. What'd he say?" she asked anxiously.

"They found her, and they're taking her in for questioning."

Her hands slowly fell off my face, and she looked at me with a blank expression. I had no idea what was going through her head until I saw a small smile spread across her face. The smile then turned into a wide grin, and I couldn't help but smile with her.

"So...we won't have to worry about her for a while, right?" she asked, the smile never leaving her face.

"If Holmes has anything to do with it, yes."

She grabbed my face again and kissed me, practically shoving her tongue down my throat. She pecked my lips a couple time then let me go.

"What –"

"You're amazing. Did you know that?" she asked, looking at me in awe. "You're so good to me, and I just...I love you so much."

I smiled because it was refreshing to actually hear her say those three words to me.

"I gotta go bake something for you!" she said excitedly. "And India! Y'all deserve it. What do you think she'll like? Oh, I'll just surprise her."

She struggled to get off the couch, so I helped her up and carried her to the kitchen. I watched in admiration as she attempted to hurriedly move around the kitchen — mixing icing for one cake in one bowl and mixing cake batter for a different cake. This was the happiest I'd seen her the last couple days and even after what happened earlier today, I felt like things were gonna get back to normal.

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OMG YALL I AM NOT THE ONE THATS PREGNANT 😭😭😭😭😭

i don't even wanna tell y'all who's really pregnant bc it won't even be as exciting 🤦🏾‍♀️ buuuuuut after i posted that last awful chapter, i found out Nadirah (Alex) is pregnant in real life, and i thought it was ironic. 😭😭

the only way i would be pregnant is if i were carrying the next baby Jesus. i'm sorry for getting y'all excited for nothing. i love y'all. 😩💖

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