i miss you, i love you | park jihoon

one

song #1: don't wanna cry - seventeen

january 16th, 2016, 2:40pm

"jihoon-ah, can you please just have one bite? it hurts me to see you like this," mrs park touched her son's shoulder and jihoon closed his eyes. they were stinging because of his lack of sleep.

they would never understand, his pain.

"i'm going up. i'm fine." he managed to muster a weak smile and pushed his untouched bowl of rice and got up from his table. he needed some time alone.

he closed his room door behind him and slumped against his wall. he closed his eyes and let the tears escape. he started to let out soft sobs that gradually became louder. soon, he was screaming at the top of his lungs.

"doyeon, you said you will never leave me," he yelled at the picture of the both of them hanging securely on his wall. "but look at this, you left before we could do anything together. i wanted to ask you so many things, but you had to leave. what did i not fulfil as your partner? you could have just told me," he screamed as he stood up.

he walked over to the table directly below the picture and opened his drawer. on the top was a small box. he picked it up and opened it, revealing a beautiful diamond ring. 

"i wanted to give you this. but i was too late, wasn't i?" his heart was breaking into another million pieces from the shattered ones already. "until you come back, i'm not going to give this to anybody but you." he directly threatened the beautiful girl that only smiled gorgeously back at him. 

"yah! stop smiling at me already! answer me!" jihoon pointed a shaky finger at doyeon and let out another sob with pure pain, agony and hurt.

jihoon was on his knees. the pain he was feeling was overwhelming him. 

as he placed the box back into the drawer, his hands felt a small piece of paper. he didn't remember placing any bits of paper into his drawer. he got up and picked up the paper. he frantically opened it and could not believe who's handwriting it was. 

"doyeon."

my dear jihoon,

jihoon felt his head spin. he sat himself on his bed and steadied his breathing before continuing the note.

i hope you're doing fine. please, don't let this affect you too much.

jihoon felt like crushing the paper then. how was he supposed to feel 'fine' when she had just left him? he was beginning to get angry, but he continued on.

just remember, that everything has a reason behind it. even though i won't be there with you physically, just remember that i'll be there watching over you wherever you are. if i could, i would do anything for you and with you.

every tear you shed, i would wipe it from your handsome face. every laugh you laugh, i would laugh along with you. 

jihoon, i'm here to protect you and make you feel loved wherever you are. you are the only person in my life that i love with all my heart, and i don't want to see you sad forever. get up, and move on. because i'll be there for you every step of the way. you may not believe that i'm with you, but i'll show you.

jihoon was wetting the letter now with his tears. his breathing was unsteady. his world was spinning. when did she write it? two weeks before she died? a month? he just wanted her back in his arms. before he closed the letter and placed the small piece of paper against his heart, he read the last two lines.

park ji hoon,

i miss you, i love you.

-

omg this may sound really stupid but i cried when writing this OHMKRJIJ i dont know why i do this to myself. and i hope you guys are liking it so far :-) it's only the beginning of the long road ahead for jihoon.

and it would be nice if you listen to the song in the beginning of every chapter, it kind of fits the mood ya! some will be korean and some will be english, but either way i hope it makes you feel more strongly about the chapter :) 

thanks for the support so far, i hope you guys will look forward to the rest of this book :-)) and if you're a really cool person to vote on this, i'll dedicate the next chapter to you because i lohv u

dedication: @ultstanss because YE BJY & be sure to check out her fics as well!! you will be swerving lanes RLY BAD im telling u ;-;

stay smelly

love, twinkle.