chapter 8

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Since I found out about my mysterious "illness" I've been surfing ever changing waves in a ocean of feelings and emotions.

At first I was shocked at what the doctor told me: "your test results resemble that of cancer or leukemia but we won't know exactly what it is unless we can locate the source, witch seems to be impossible" the terror when he offered 'treatment' and I remember being angry that he suggested I do something to my body that, not only might not even work, but make things worse.

I remember exiting the doctor's office and as if in slow motion, made my way to my car and just sat in the driver's seat processing my decision. The only person I wanted to see, the only person I wanted to be with in that moment was Demitri.

I composed myself and plastered a smile on my face as I called his office, trying to sound as normal as possible. I remember hearing that familiar happiness in his voice that I always heard when I spoke to him, and immediately I feel better, he always made me feel better just by hearing him speak. I remember the fear I felt when I told him I was sick and the look of sadness in his eyes.

Sadness that almost turned to anger when I announced I refused treatment. Mostly I remember the guilt I felt for keeping my 'illness' a secret, especially from dad. But all these negative feelings disappeared as soon as Demitri walked in my apartment and Ser us off on this adventure.

The feeling I have now, spending the remainder of my life traveling the world with Demitri -


Charlotte and I spent the day doing things around the house. She gave me a old pair of big black rain boots as we walked outside. I sat on the steps removing my sneakers and quickly pulled on the boots. I followed Charlotte to the pen the cattle are in and soon I realized why I needed the boots. The ground in the pen was thick and soft and had a horrid smell that filled my nose and clearly told me that I wasn't calf deep in just mud. As gross as this was, I follow Charlotte's instructions and spread the hay in the wooden trough Otto made for the cattle. Before I could finish spreading the hay, I was surrounded by cows trying to get to their food. Now, I can't even begin to explain how hard it is to get out of a herd of animals more than three times your size! I almost lost my balance as I finally found my way back to Charlotte. She laughed playfully at me as we walked to the greenhouse. She spoke about the different herbs and vegetables she had and even told me about some wild edible plants that can be found in the Alaskan woods.

Lunch time came around so Charlotte and I went back to the house to make -- the best -- sandwiches I've ever had. Could it be the fresh homemade bread or the fact that everything, including the butter was either grown or made by Charlotte herself?


Since the boys would be back by 4 o'clock Charlotte told me to go get ready for the dance. I made my way up the creaking stairs to my room and grabbed my shower supplies and a towel before heading to the bathroom. I'd pick out what to wear after a shower, there was no way I was going out smelling like sweat and cow manure.

After a nice warm relaxing shower I walked back to my room, my towel wrapped securely around my chest. My wet hair dripping down my back as I searched through by bag on the bed. I was so busy contemplating my outfit that I didn't hear Otto and Demitri enter the front door or the knock on my door before Demitri walked in.

"Honey I'm ho-" I nearly jumped out of my skin when I suddenly heard Demitri's voice. Unable to hide the sudden rush of heat on my face when I saw him standing there, a mere few feet away from me... in nothing but a towel...

"What the hell Demitri!? Don't you knock!?"

"Shit! I'm sorry sunshine, I - I did knock, I do - didn't know" he stuttered while his cheeks turned a bright shade of pink.

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