Inside of Me ━ Isabelle Lightwood

XXV. RISE UP (PART TWO)

He walked away from them, but he couldn't leave them. Clary was his sister, his selfish sister that he was still willing to protect. She was the only family he had at the moment, with Jocelyn asleep and Jace...being Jace, really.

He hated how he just couldn't leave her, no matter how hard he tried. She had done everything wrong, she had used people and betrayed them, broken her own alliances so that she could have what she was wanted, yet Isaac couldn't leave her.

It felt like a toxic relationship to him. She would do something bad that affected him, he would yell, and then come crawling right back. It felt bad, but he couldn't stop himself. He never could. Even when Stiles made fun of his childhood, discarded it like it was nothing and had no affect on him, he still couldn't leave him pack. Pack was family, his only family, but now he found them - he found his family and he couldn't leave them, no matter how much he wanted to.

Isaac followed them to Magnus' apartment, waiting outside and not allowing himself to hear their conversation in case it made him angry all over again. But, he stared down at his phone, his thumb hovering over Chris' number. Maybe he should call the hunter, his old friend, but he hadn't talked to him since he left.

The werewolf felt terrible for it, but that's what happened. He left and never talked to the people he left ever again, they became painful memories to him. Isaac thought about that day in France when he was packing everything up, seeing the ring that still embellished his finger. Everything changed because of that ring, everything.

Without that day, without anything that happened, he would've never found his family. If Allison hadn't died, if he hadn't moved away, if he hadn't looked in that one box and saw the ring...and if he hadn't asked about it. If he kept his mouth shut, he would've never found out that he was adopted, he would've never found his mother.

Isaac looked down at that ring now, still glistening in the sun as it stayed there on his finger. He became so proud of it when he told Clary, or, she found out. He was so proud of that then, the promise to fix every relationship with his family members, bring them together again. But now, he hated it, he hated the broken ties he had created with those who were in his family.

He took off the ring, slipping it into his pocket even though he wanted to throw it to the curb. He would leave soon enough, when Valentine was defeated, he would leave then. Isaac wouldn't go back to them, though, he wouldn't help, he would just watch. He would see, he would help if he needed to, but he would stay in the shadows. He couldn't watch his family die because of what he didn't do, but he had to make sure no Circle members would follow him.

Isaac looked back at his phone, Chris' number still up, and he locked it. It wasn't the right time to call him, he would want to help, and Isaac didn't want the hunter involved.

It was then that he saw them leaving the apartment, Clary and Isabelle with the vampires, and he followed them, far enough away so that he wouldn't get caught. He didn't need that right then, he couldn't handle it.

The werewolf followed them until they reached an apartment complex. He waited until he heard them enter the apartment to even enter the building and use the elevator. He went to the correct floor, hearing the number of dings in the elevator when the group went in it, and waited there. He would stay there, half-listen to their conversation, and make sure everything was alright with them.

He waited there for a couple minutes, maybe ten or fifteen, before he decided he was going to leave, but then he heard the elevator ring. Isaac hid in a corner of the elevator area where no one could see them unless they turned around. He saw a seraph blade in the hands of the person who had stepped out, and Isaac was about to attack, thinking it was a Circle member until he heard the Shadowhunter's voice; Jace's.

"Fucking Valentine," he muttered, and Isaac sniffed the air to smell determination from Jace and a little nervousness. Isaac watched as Jace went into the apartment where the group was, Isaac standing right outside the door, hidden by a wall as he heard the conversation.

"You ready?" Isaac heard Valentine ask, and he peered in to see that he was asking Jace that question.

"If I go with you...promise me you won't hurt them," Jace said in a cold tone to Valentine.

"You have my word," Valentine smirked, like he was winning something.

"This is insane!" Clary exclaimed, seeing that Jace was ready to go with Valentine and leave them.

"Jace, stop," Isaac finally walked in, "Don't do it. Valentine doesn't care about anyone but himself, he'll hurt anyone who stands in his way of power...he won't keep his promise."

"That's not true, Jace," Valentine said in a soft tone, "I'm a man of my word, I won't hurt them."

"You can't be serious!" Clary broke in, "Valentine is wrong. You're not like him. I'm not. Isaac isn't. You're not!"

"You don't know that, Clary. You don't know that," Jace didn't even glance at her.

Valentine stared at his son, the one who was ready to betray everyone even if he tried to convince himself that he wasn't. "Let them go," he commanded his members, who pushed Magnus, Isabelle, Alec, and Simon away.

"Get back, get back," Jace held up his blade and his other hand, telling the Lightwood siblings to stay away. "Alec, I mean it."

"Jace...Jace..." Clary whimpered as Valentine and the Circle members turned and went into the Portal, Jace giving her a sympathetic glance before doing the same.

Clary rushed towards the Portal, hoping to catch Jace, but Isaac held onto her, he couldn't lose his sister to. Isaac watched as the Portal disappeared, feeling as if every part of him was breaking.

He felt like he was a kid again in that fire that Valentine set, gently persuading Jace to his room before hearing him scream, thinking that his brother was dead. He lost Jace then and he was losing him again now, and he couldn't do anything.

Everything he did was for family, to help them. He almost gave up his life to save Luke, he gave up his most loved person to gain knowledge of who his parents were...he would give up everything for them, but in that moment, he couldn't do anything.

Jace made him feel like nothing, Valentine made him feel like nothing, Clary made him feel like nothing, and Jocelyn especially made him feel like nothing. He gave everything away for his family, and they discarded that so quickly.

Everyone he truly loved used him, made him feel useless or unwanted, a thing they didn't need. They made him feel like he was expendable, that they wouldn't keep him around once they had no use for him. Yet, Isaac could never leave them. He clung on to every memory with Allison, with his pack. He clung onto every memory with Clary and Jocelyn before the redhead turned eighteen, he clung onto every bit of ignorance he had before he realized that he was nothing to them.

And Clary threw him away again, she yelled and screamed at him for preventing her from reaching Jace, and he saw the look of hate in her eyes. He saw the way Alec tried to explain to her and Isabelle held him, apologizing to him and trying to tell him it was okay, but he couldn't hear them, he just heard a ringing in his skull. His thoughts weren't on that moment, they were going through every moment he felt that nothingness building inside him until this moment when he truly felt it.

And once again, Isaac was nothing.

this is it. this is the last chapter...what?